It's been quiet around here lately....

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
It's been quiet around here lately....
5
Sat, 06-12-2010 - 11:35am

Does this mean everyone is behaving? ;-) I noticed a couple of plunges into the deep end this week, and I am really sorry for the pain and disappointment some of you are feeling over your actions. All one can do is get back up on that horse and start riding again. I know it took me 3 tries to get it right so I will never judge anyone else, but I did not have the benefit of this board back then. Just saying...


I know this gets redundant around here but I have to say it again. "NC=NO NEW HURTS" and "SILENCE IN ELOQUENT, DIGNIFIED, AND HEARD." Try to remember that there will be moments of weakness, even when we think we are in the clear. Having them is all part of the ending process, but acting upon them almost ALWAYS

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2010
Sat, 06-12-2010 - 12:13pm

Hey Iddy and Ladies!


Don't have a great deal of thoughts to share but wanted to say THANKS for posting this in support of all of us and it is always so nice to know you are thinking of all of us. I am still riding the horse...saddle has shifted and I almost fell off, but DIDN'T...which is most important. I have been thinking a great deal about this situation being so very similar to the struggle to quit smoking in my life. I have smoked since I was a teen... throughout the years I have always been active, play sports, run etc. I quit immediately for both my children, and although it was not EASY...it was not a huge struggle because it was for the health of my children. Didn't realize concern myself with how it was benefitting me, but knew I would NEVER do anything to compromise my children's safety. I stayed quit through breastfeeding and went right back to it after that...stupid stupid girl. My girls do not know I smoke, not many do...I am a huge closet smoker so I do not do it in my house, vehicle or anywhere around them. So about a year and a half ago I decided to train for a half marathon...was totally comitted to this and one day woke up and thought I need to quit for this huge feat in my life. I did...and OH how I struggled...some days I was psychotic. The emotions were intense, the ups and downs, the struggles, the cravings, the need and the want to have those cigarettes were so strong. I cryed some days, I know I was struggling with bouts of depression...I was losing something in my life I was addicted to...and I enjoyed...although I knew how wrong and awful it was for me.


So....wow, do these words ring a bell with anyone??? Because that is how I have felt for the past 104 days. As with smoking... somedays the craving is less, somedays the thoughts of my "drug" are only a few...other days the craving is so intense I want to give in. I know with smoking...TIME was the only thing that would eventually take that intense wanting away. When you smoke...you will always have triggers, a beer or glass of wine, a morning coffeee on the deck, going out with others who smoke, stressful situations, after sex...LOL, you try to avoid those situations (not the sex though haha)but eventually you need to not stop living and do the things you have done and just face the fact that you have given up the "drug" and you don't want or need it in your life. There is nothing good about smoking, there are no positives about it...nothing. Just like all of our A's.... nothing positive at all.


On a not so positive note... I eventually gave in to my smoking habit again after about 8 months of quitting.... that is next on my list of things to get rid of once I purge this other "addiction" once and for all. I need my strength for this one, once I have gathered enough I will put it toward getting rid of the cigarettes! I know I can do it...I have done it before, but right now...I just don't have it in me. Focus on one thing at a time.


Have a great weekend Ladies, Thx Iddy and all of you amazing women!!! (didn't read this over, so forgive any grammatical or spelling errors...)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Sat, 06-12-2010 - 1:10pm

(((Healing)))


Hah! I told you that there is always something someone writes that others can relate to...and you talked about smoking. Well, this is my Achilles's Heal and has been for a very long time. I usually quit when I get sick, and then stick with it for a couple of months...but just one traumatic episode ( car was stolen, brother committed suicide), and I'm huffing and puffing again. Like you, I am a closet smoker although I have no one I really need to hide it from. It just helps me to cut back, so I will not smoke in public (can't anymore anyway at Michigan restaurants and bars), and only at work when I'm alone,

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2010
Sat, 06-12-2010 - 3:14pm

Thanks Iddy, yes we have our vices don't we??? I have wondered how many of the ladies on here are smokers...maybe we are all prone to some form of addiction adn have that in our personalities. I was never one for drugs, never even smoked a joint until 5 years ago!!! LOL, and have not since, I just figured I should try it at some point and find out what the big deal was. I enjoy a glass a wine or 2...sometimes 3! But damn I find giving up the filthy, rotten habit of smoking difficult. I remember my first 10km race I was in and clocked an amazing time. Was so proud, and came home and had a smoke...how pathetic huh??? Well, I guess it is better than just smoking and NOT exercising! Always trying to find justification for our bad habits aren't we?????


Know what else, Xap didn't even know I smoked. He didn't know a whole lot about me really, because he was never really interested in finding out anything too personal.


Anyone care to fess up if they are smokers??? Have

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009
Sat, 06-12-2010 - 6:49pm
Ok, I'm a closet smoker too!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Sun, 06-13-2010 - 8:13am

Healing,


I'll be your quit smoking buddy!! I have smoked off and on since I was 20. I quit for about two years--cold turkey--about five years ago, but then got all stressed out over something and picked up a pack. Stupid, stupid, stupid.


I have set my quit date for some time in August. I need to get through another stressful period of my life right now and I am not going to set myself up for failure by pretending I can quit now. I'm with you, one thing at a time.


Oh, BTW, I totally understand the exercise and smoking thing! After a great workout at the gym, I

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.