Its been a while since I posted here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Its been a while since I posted here.
12
Sun, 11-28-2010 - 4:21pm

I started an affair with a married man over 2 years ago.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Sun, 11-28-2010 - 4:34pm

HI Jen,

I get where you're coming from - about KNOWING and not really needing advice. GOOD! an Independent!!!! :)

So Im just going to say 2 things. (the crowd cheers)

1)strike the word slut as it pertains to yourself (or others for that matter) from your vocabulary!!!!!!!!!! NO BEATING UP ON YOURSELF

2) Come here for whatever you need in your journey to reclaim your power - and extricate yourself from the addictive, illicit underground, shame based tie - which WAS your a. EVERYONE is ENTITLED to TAKE THEIR NOW! BY THE HORNS and ride a new path into the sunset!!!

Hoorah for YOU for taking your bottoming out - and seeking CHANGE and BETTER for yourself. We've got an AMAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZING group here

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Sun, 11-28-2010 - 4:37pm

Jen -

I'm glad you came here to vent. It sounds like you've experienced your "last straw". You do know what to do - keep up the NC. If you can, block his number from your phone so he can't even reach you. Please stop the self-degradation. Having an A doesn't make you a slut. You made poor choices. It's a deep ugly secret a lot of us have. Taking back your life is the best thing you can do for yourself. Get your mind clear enough so you can deal with the real issues in your life - yourself and your marriage. Read all you can in the Healing Library and keep posting. Nine days is a wonderful start! I'm glad you're here!

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009
Sun, 11-28-2010 - 5:04pm

Jen-

Yes, if you have been reading here you know what to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
Sun, 11-28-2010 - 6:00pm

Hi Jen,

I have the same big dark secret. What we did was wrong but we are here to get over it and move on with our lives.

9 days is GREAT!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Sun, 11-28-2010 - 7:26pm

Jenimall,

Welcome back tp the board. I can only hope this will be the last time you have to begin again, and 9 days is a terrific start. Kudos to you. I know you are familiar with what to expect....the fluctuating emotions, the good days and bad days, etc. It's all part of the ending process, and if you come here daily to read or post, it will help to keep pushing you forward...

The issues with H are for another day, another time. First you have to get those A toxins out of your system and then you can deal with the rest of it later... just because your A ends does not mean RL is going to get better. It means that YOU are going to get better. With that will come a new perspective in what you want for yourself and your child.

Continue reading our HL and get acquainted with our new board. Turn your focus toward the holidays and try to stay as busy as you can. The NY will be here before you know it. By then you should be well on your way to breaking the A/AP addicition.

((Hugs)))

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Mon, 11-29-2010 - 6:18pm

Michelle,

Thank you for the welcome.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Mon, 11-29-2010 - 6:20pm

Hi Bodhi,

I really hope this is the last straw because I honestly cant keep going on like this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Mon, 11-29-2010 - 6:23pm

Thank you for your reply.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Mon, 11-29-2010 - 6:31pm

Iddy,

I read your reply at work today (not allowed to post from work tho) and you make alot of sense to worry about all my issues with my H for another day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Mon, 11-29-2010 - 6:40pm

Jen...

WE ALL ARE (notorious for beating ourselves up)

Its part of the dynamic that kept us stuck. Beat up, fix, rinse wash repeat....

Im glad you're HERE now.

We're here for you!!!

How ya doin today?

Michelle

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010

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