It's good to know . . . .

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
It's good to know . . . .
6
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 1:50pm

that I'm not the only MW who's done this. It makes me feel better to know that someone understands my roller coaster emotions with the break up. It's day 2 for me and the silence of my office just makes me think about him all the more. Damn it!

K

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 3:22pm
Hugs, K, you're in the toughest part. Those first few days of fighting the impulse to call, expecting to hear from him, forgetting that it's over. Eventually, though, he'll become less and less part of your days and your office won't seem so quiet. "Eventually" can take awhile and be pretty uncomfortable, but keep posting here. I remember during the first 2 or 3 weeks after I ended my A I was a big PITA here - I posted over and over, responded to every single other post. It was a big part of my life. You'll make it, honey. Trust me. I ended my A in February of 2004 and never looked back. Love, Mo.

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 3:41pm

Thanks, Mo! I'm sure I'll be fine, it's just really starting to sink in that it's over. Yes, he's called to check in on me . . .to see if I'm ok. I really didn't want to talk to him, and didn't know what to say. It was awkward. I called once to ask him something stupid just to hear his voice. Then felt dumb afterwards even though I kept it brief. He's a nice guy, always has been and I understand completely the ending of the A. I do think he's genuinely concerned he hurt me. I'm sure other MW have said the same. Oh well, I just feel better at least . . venting and all.

Damn . . this silence is deafening! Can somebody give me a radio or something???

K

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 7:40pm

k,

sometimes the "silence" will give u time to reflect on what u realy want in life, do u realy want to be with that person ?

if the silence is so loud, put on some noise cancelling headphones

:)
max

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2004
Wed, 05-04-2005 - 2:27am

I can certainly understand, this is now day 2 for me.

Venting here has been really helpful, and I'm trying to stay busy which isn't always easy since I work part time. Luckily my H is out of town until the weekend so I have time to grieve on my own.

What I've done that's been helpful: emailing friends, even friends that I haven't talked to in a while. I've removed all of OM's contact info/emails/everything from my computer. I even turned off the little envelope that shows up on my computer taskbar when I have mail in outlook - how many times I'd look for that when I was waiting to hear from him.

At least I don't have to worry about getting calls from SM, and he knows I'm determined to end this so I don't expect to hear from him by email either. I guess it's easier to deal with when OM is on the other side of the world.

M

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
Wed, 05-04-2005 - 10:06am
Wow . .day 2 for you too, huh? I'm here for you. We all are! I'm doing fine. I guess since I've had so many other traumatic events in my life that by far trump this "break up", I can handle it a little better. Don't get me wrong-I stewed and am stewing. I'm sad and disappointed, but relieved too. It helped to DO things. You know . . . occupy my mind with other people, my students, friends. The hard part is getting over this w/o H catching on that THAT is what's wrong.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2004
Wed, 05-04-2005 - 1:22pm

Hi Kim,
Glad to hear you're doing ok. I think I am too, I know I need to have the time to grieve and get this out of my system, and it's not going to happen overnight.

Yes, I understand about the relief part and I can certainly understand worrying about your H. I was stuck for a couple of months in an emotional limbo - not knowing whether to keep trying or end it. I'd been wanting to end it this week since my H is out of the country, I have the week to cry and scream and hopefully start to get it out of my system. I was so unfair to my H, many times I was sad about not hearing from OM and my H would be the one that tried to cheer me up.

I realize I've been neglecting friends and family so I've been making a big effort to reconnect. And exercising helps too.
M