It's over - devastated.....
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It's over - devastated.....
| Fri, 02-18-2011 - 10:13pm |
I'm back. It is so overwhelming right now. We ended for good 2 hours ago. Not simply a fight (like the last 2 times), but because he admitted he cannot leave his DS's or be the cause of destroying two families, and to me there is absolutely no point in continuing in the A unless the end result was for us to be together. 10 months of my life wasted, the lies told to our families, to ourselves. The promises of us ending our M's and starting a life together - gone. There was no argument, no harsh words, just honesty.

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Smiles and hope
Kat.
Iggyx
NON,
Even with all of the red flags flapping in your face, (I was also told early on that Xmm would not break up his family), we still deluded ourselves into believing we could win their heart. This self deception is all on us and we eventually end up paying dearly for it.
I am sorry you are in such pain, but you can and will get get past this. For now you need to grieve your ending, read here as often as you can, spend plenty of time in our Healing Library, and post as much as
Non,
I'm so sorry for all the hurt you are feeling right now. Go ahead and cry. Grieve your loss. We are here for you. Please use this board as a lifeline. Posting helps relieve the pain and anxiety. Have faith that this is going to get better. I promise it will.
Please be gentle with yourself over the next few days and know that we are here with you.
<3
~alwayst2
He will contact you again when he misses the fantasy you two created and he needs an escape from his RL. What will you do when he contacts? Will you continue to be his secret gal on the side when he has already told you he is not leaving his family and you must continue to stay hidden in the secret department of his life. If you are ready to leave your M, do it without running to a man who has already shown you that he is a cheater who uses women to get what he wants.
Welcome to endings, NON, and hugs to you. We all have been where you are now, in devastating pain and thinking that life is over. I remember days spent sobbing until I'd puke. Or staying in bed curled up in a ball and not wanting to face another day of pain and struggle.
Dear NON,
So sorry you are hurting but glad you have found EAS.
Thank you all for your support and great wisdom. EAS is my life line.
I wish I could say the tears have stopped but they haven't. To make matters worse, H knows there is something terribly wrong and is doing whatever he can to ease my pain. I am the foundation of our family and to see me crumble threatens the very existence of their world. I just want to be left alone. For a while anyway.
Saturday night H and I usually enjoy a glass of wine together. Won't be tempting fate with that tonight.
Xap will not contact me. And quite frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if there was another OW. But it doesn't matter. He is as damaged as I am. I need to garner strength so i do not break NC.
Tomorrow is a new day.
You are doing so well and, as you say, tomorrow is a new day and one day closer to a stronger, healthier you. NC is the greatest gift you could ever give yourself and your family and you will get through it. I know you will.:)
Smiles and sunshine
Kat
With much care
Kat
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