It's over - devastated.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2010
It's over - devastated.....
14
Fri, 02-18-2011 - 10:13pm

I'm back. It is so overwhelming right now. We ended for good 2 hours ago. Not simply a fight (like the last 2 times), but because he admitted he cannot leave his DS's or be the cause of destroying two families, and to me there is absolutely no point in continuing in the A unless the end result was for us to be together. 10 months of my life wasted, the lies told to our families, to ourselves. The promises of us ending our M's and starting a life together - gone. There was no argument, no harsh words, just honesty.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2010
Sun, 02-20-2011 - 12:29pm

Hi Kat,

No haven't blocked him. Not possible through work. Trouble is we both sit on a non-profit board so there will have to be LC until one of us resigns. I will post more on this once I reach the 48 hour mark later today.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2009
Sun, 02-20-2011 - 12:40pm

Stay strong. LC is very difficult. I was in LC for a year before I was able to quit my job and to go full NC - and what a huge difference. After only 2 months of NC I feel much, much better. Of course my xap showed no respect for my desire to end things either and would fish incessantly, and that kept me stuck for much longer. Don't count on his ability to keep NC, because he will come back if you let him.

Gone

**Bloodied but unbowed**
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Sun, 02-20-2011 - 3:16pm
Sorry Non, I didn't realise that you served on a Board together. That must be tough (and at the same time, I understand how hard it is to resign from a non-profit you care about). Iddy, Gone, and others are wonderful proof that LC is possible, and I hope you'll find their stories helpful.

Please do post more when you get to 48hrs, and let us know how you are doing.

Big hugs.

Kat.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2010
Sun, 02-20-2011 - 6:46pm

((((NON))))

I remember that initial pain, it was intense, it was gut-wrenching, i remember not being able to breathe, I'm a woman who is usually composed, and at that time my emotions were all over the place, I recall crying out in public on many occasions. My XAP was kind and respectful to me too, so i understand that breaking up was hard, but it was the right thing to do NON, as the A had reached its expiration date. Time will be your savior here, minute by minute, day by day, the pain will ease, and i promise you it will. Did you have a Dday? If you hadn't, be ever so grateful that you didn't, and receive this break-up as a blessing. Always be mindful that we only knew our XAPs in an artificial and restricted environment, as they knew us, chances are it probably wouldn't work out in the real world. Stay with us NON.

We are all thinking of you

V888
xxxxx

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