I've been thinking
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| Thu, 03-24-2005 - 10:36am |
Still doing well...I have had my moments. My eyes have welled with tears every now and again but it's about me and not him. I've realized that I often lose myself in relationships. The OP becomes my every thought, my every action. It's a pattern for me. It's always been that way as far back as I can remember. I don't keep my individual identity...and the OP becomes my "happiness carrier." And we all know, rarely do A provide any long, lasting happiness thus comes the "let down" feelings and feelings of sadness.
I have thought of him. Wondering if he will try to contact me next week when he returns....but I quickly re-direct my thoughts to something else. Just alot of thoughts still; although, they don't have the same hold on me like they used to.
I have been put in charge of his good-bye luncheon. I am usually the party planner if you will for the office so I didn't decline. It will be nice...of course. I think showing him I can stand with my held head high and look beyond what took place between us and do this as if no emotions were interwined will be good for my self-esteem.
As is the old saying.......It's often better to give than to receive. But as far as my husband is concerned....I tell him....It's far better to receive...than to give. HEE! LOL. My sense of humor is returning.
SS

SS
>>""As is the old saying.......It's often better to give than to receive. But as far as my husband is concerned....I tell him....It's far better to receive...than to give. HEE! LOL. My sense of humor is returning."<<<
THIS IS GOOD, humor that is, BUT your right were hubby is concerned it is better to recieve often and long.
Free
Free-
I am taking your advice and creating new, lasting memories in this Dept with DH. LOL. Thanks for the laugh.
SS
Hey Jackson-
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He's adjusting fairly well. He and I are both getting used to each other again. We are both used to being by ourselves in a sense (me and the kids, him and his soldiers).
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YES!!!!! YES!!!! As someone told me, my facial expressions and demeanor shows much of my thoughts and/or feelings. He asked if there was someone, I said no. But....I catch him checking my cell phone or if someone calls, he asks who I am speaking to you....or out of the blue, he makes comments about cheating. For now, I am asking for guidance from the ALL MIGHTY to help me heal and if confessing is part of the healing process....I'll know when it's time.
It still hurts so much. Today, I feel like I am back where I started a couple of weeks ago. Going over everything in my head. I can't believe how pathetic I carried myself.
Thanks for thinking of us!!
SS