I've got some questions for everyone

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
I've got some questions for everyone
11
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 12:19pm
Just curious-

We keep hearing that the Xmm is calling back and intiating contact with us. What do they want? Do they miss us or are they just weak and need to talk to you. What if they are not calling you back. Does that mean they dont' care anymore and they have moved on. We are trying to maintain NC for our self dignity and pride. Is that what they are doing too? What if you know your XMM didn't want to end things but you were so wishy washy and said it was best and then called them afterwards and they didn't want to talk to you anymore. My XMM always said to me "If I didn't want to talk to you - I wouldn't be calling you". So I guess he didn't want to talk anymore eventhough he didn't want it to end.

Also we eventually move on and look back and regret what we did and sometime ask why we did such a thing with this person. Do you think they have regerts and look at us as a mistake? My XMM always said he had no regrets and didn't feel guilty for what he was doing to his wife. Do you think he does now and hates me. One of the last phone calls we talked he said he could never hate me. Am I his mistake now? Just wondering your thoughts on what their take of it is.

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Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 5:58pm


WHO CARES what my xMM thought/think? Initially, the first month after NC, I did care.

In time, his emotional control over me dissapated.....do not give a rat's a-- anymore.

Yes, he still wanted to communicate...why? probably to tell me more lies, feed his ego.

Four months after NC, we spoke via the phone. He searched for me after I changed my cell number, blocked e-mails...when I did get in touch with him, he asked why I "disappeared". Explained I could no longer take the BS, needed to DROP him fast. I told him he was a mistake and that I would always look back at this as a great regret. Yes, he was hurt. He responds he will always think of me in the "positive." To be frank, I DO NOT CARE- he put me through hell (via NC, picture becomes clearer...).

I snickered at his suggestion that we become/remain friends. Under this guise, he would feel the freedom to call me whenever (if he had it his way, it would be EVERYDAY for an hour, to lure me back into his clutches).

Also, our relationship was hardly physical, all emotional.

Trust me, I will look back, think of him...feel disgusted.....

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