I've slipped on the NC

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2003
I've slipped on the NC
2
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 9:02am
Hi all, I've posted here a few times, trying to do the NC with OM, I was not going to email him. Unfortunately I have to see him at work which doesnt help. Last friday when he came in work I was in the breakroom all alone and he said "Hi georgous" he 's never said anything like that to me. MInd you this is only an emotional affair and although he likes me and is attracted to me he wont cross the line. And to top it off when he came in I notice he had his arm in a sling and he had broken it pretty bad. So the sympathy thing got to me and I was like. "Oh my god are you ok" I really felt bad for him. Needless to say I emailed him a few times, expressing my concerns for his wellbeing, considering he broke it while drinking. and than I slipped even further asking him if I would ever be able to se him outside of work again. We had met 2 times before he decided to say it had to stop. Because he enjoyed seeing me too much. And was affraid he would not be able to behave himself, as he put it. Whats even harder is that he is soooo much younger than me. I get intoxicated just looking at him. Ohh god I' just rambled on here. I'm going to try not to email him this week but theres nothing I can do about work. I will work right by him Friday. I don't see how I can stop talking to him. then there s my marriage. I don't even want to go there.

Thanks to this board and all the encouraging words.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 12:02pm
Deb,

If this guy was the LOVE of your life, then you would be leaving your husband for a total dip wad !!! What a charmer, almost like a drive by shooting, a few carless seconds and a life time to rebuild.

next time you see him, tell him you've met someone really great and that life is to short to be unhappy, wish him all of the best and NO CONTACT! Also, you menioned your husband.... perhaps it's time to reinvest in him or cut him free.........

Good Luck...

Kris

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 2:57pm
Hey Deb,

Listen, you've said yourself that he is leaving once he's done with school. Do you actually think there's a future here with him or is he just a distraction from your marriage right now? I know you said things aren't good with your husband, but having an affair with a young guy you work with is NOT the answer. I promise! You are headed down a dangerous path...the attention IS intoxicating! God, I know that! But you need to either leave this guy alone (he's already said he won't see you while you are married) and focus on figuring yourself and your marriage out (what is missing? would counseling help?) OR leave your husband and see what happens with OM. Most likely, you would still be unfulfilled if you were with OM. You really need to work on yourself and figure out what it is you need to feel like a whole person in your own right. Whether or not you and H choose to stay married, getting involved with this man while you are still married is not a viable option. It will further complicate things and you will be living a life of secrecy and deception. The warm-fuzzies are nice, but they don't last forever. Please think about this...I know your life doesn't seem great right now, but getting involved with this guy WILL NOT MAKE IT BETTER! Only you can fill the void you have, not him.
Love,

Lily
Love, Lily PG with #1 EDD 11/23 baby