Job change - such a tough choice
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Job change - such a tough choice
| Tue, 05-31-2011 - 9:11am |
I came to my current job about two years ago, as a promotion from a different dept. It is in line with my training and I have long coveted being here. JAM was here too. But I stress it wasn't the main reason. When I got here, I ran in to very ugly politics. It didn't help that JAM had an agenda with me and kept offering me projects which didn't go over well. Long story short all the great work I accomplished has been lost in the eyes of management since I didn't get the team work right (ie, my colleagues are terrriotorial and did not take kindly to my achievements). I am being told this is 'fixable', however its been a year and I still hear it from my boss. Meanwhile, my old position is open. They loved me, they will bring me back at a promotion so that I keep my current salary and it will be a mostly lateral move. BUT all the reasons I left are still there - long hours, slow promotions, the danger of the entire dept being outsourced. My former boss tells me I will rise in the ranks - its hard to believe bc good people have been there for years and a couple have finally moved companies in frustration due to lack of upward movement. This job will remove me from being even in LC with JAM. I will also lose some other perks. I'm so torn. What do I do, do I stay here and continue to try to 'fix' this or accept that I have nochance here and take this other position - with loss of perks and uncertainty. Do I believe my former boss. I've been thinking about this for a few months. I looked outside, but in this economy did not find anything. Please, an objective perspective would help.
Also, I had naiively asked JAM a month or so ago what he thought. He shot down each of my options, including staying put, saying I will always carry the 'stigma'. He was so unsupportive. When I said so, he turned around and said he would be 'happy to write me a rec letter'. I now know not to tell him anything. Five days NC. It feels like he hates me to be so unsupportive - he witnessed firsthand all the ugliness I went through. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
Also, I had naiively asked JAM a month or so ago what he thought. He shot down each of my options, including staying put, saying I will always carry the 'stigma'. He was so unsupportive. When I said so, he turned around and said he would be 'happy to write me a rec letter'. I now know not to tell him anything. Five days NC. It feels like he hates me to be so unsupportive - he witnessed firsthand all the ugliness I went through. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

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And, if you do back to your old job, you can still keep your eyes open for another job. I also wouldn't go to JAM for that letter of recommendation...doesn't sound like you need it anyway.
Cando,
Hi.
I'm going to try to help you with the perspective of an employer.
Regarding the A, it is my fear that people picked up on the vibes. He made it so obvious, by deliberately requesting me. The 'stigma' is that people know I got dinged by my department and so it might hamper my progression. I am afraid I will never be able to have a clean slate, even though my boss says its fixable and that I have the potential to exceed. Despite no negative feedback (I repeatedly ask her and she says she has none to give me), she still brings these things up as if they happened yesterday. Sorry if I've rambled. I hope this gives you a clearer picture.
Hi Cando,
I thought the pro and con list was a good idea. I usually make one and assign points to stuff, e.g., job security and opportunity for promotions might be 10s, pleasant co-workers might be a 5, etc. That way, when I add things up, the total is weighted towards what is really important to me.
When I read your original post one part kind of stood out for me - that your old department is in danger of being outsourced. I don't know what your family situation is, but that would be a big red flag for me personally.
It also sounds as though you have more opportunity for advancement in your current position - and I would be leery of what your old boss is saying about advancement. If he/she wants your back, he/she may believe that but it may or may not actually happen.
In other words, it might be safe and comfortable (not to mention far away from exAP) to return to your old job but if I were a career coach, I would likely advise to you 1) stick it out where you are and 2) use that position as a springboard to an even better position, possibly with another company.
Years ago, I turned down a supervisory position because I didn't feel the area "fit me personally." It was a really bad career move and I have regretted it since. I know I would regret retreating from a more senior position to avoid contact with exEAP.
You also mention the old job had longer hours and more overtime and (as I recall) the current job pays better.
Remember, although emotional health is really important, our main focus in the work world is to get the best deal in exchange for our hard work. It's something men rarely forget but we women sometimes sell ourselves short by retreating when we should just go full steam ahead.
As for your boss and the way she is kind of blaming you for some kind of politically based disruption in the department, I would ask for specifics the next time she alludes to some past problem:
"Can you give me an example of what action I took that you are referring to?" If she says, "You jumped on the XYZ account and put Mr. Beenhereforever's nose out of joint," you could ask her to clarify: 'Are you saying I should not have been enthusiastic about the XYZ account, which I did land?" Basically, she can't really criticize you for doing a good job, even if your actions pissed somebody else off - and getting her to verbalize all that will likely put an end to the let's-go-down-negative-memory-lane crap.
I think you are wise not to trust exAP. Hard to know, but he may have set you up to take a fall.
Your decision may rest on whether you think your current position is salvageable. If it is really untenable, retreat may be the answer - but make sure you put what you need and deserve front and centre.
Good luck to you,
Cando,
Well, let's see here.
I appreciate your response, and to your point I've spent the last 6-8 months trying to change things. Whether or not I am suuccessful, remains to be seen. I have had no negative feedback in this time. Let me ask you a question: if you get negative feedback from a couple of your staff, yet the same person has excellent feedback from other teams they've participated in, plus their former boss also has teamwork praise, would you still think of the employee as not a team player? Would you consider that there might be something wrong with the team dynamic contributed by all members and not necessariy the one person? Moreover, as a manager how do you help an employee be 'liked'? My manger has said time and again that she has received excellent feedback and knows I can function well in a team. She doesn't kow why the problem in this team. I can tell you what I can't tell her: I spent a lot of time wrapped up in the painful dynamic of the A, and so most probably appeared distant. If I could go back and change that I wouuld. I am not sure of any revelations that I can have, but ipractically speaking, I can continue to ask for feedback from members. What else do you suggest? My fear at this point is that I will get blind-sided. She has not given me any negative feedback so far. She says iit is critical I get it right. It is frustrating for me to not know until the end of the year what she thinkss bc by that time it will be too late. I don't know if she already written me off or is genuinely wanting me to succeed. There are so objective measures here.
Cando,
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That's quite a different scenario that you described before.
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