This is A JOKE!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
This is A JOKE!
5
Sat, 03-20-2004 - 4:57pm
I signed on to this message board hoping to get some support from some great people who have gone through similar experiences as I have n oone to talk to that would understand why I got myself involved in such a situation and every time I write I get maybe two replies and usually from the same person. What does it take to get into the click on here?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Sat, 03-20-2004 - 5:11pm
I've been on this board for about 6 months, what I found more helpful than how many people answer my post was reading all of the posts. They maybe weren't started by me or even directed to me but some of it could have been. I never cared either way if no one replied or 10 people did. I felt I was gaining so much from what everyone had to say to everyone, not necessarily just to me. Most of the time I just needed to think outloud and vent what I was feeling.

This is just something to think about.

For any of us when we first come to this board we are hurting so badly and it's hard to help yourself, let alone try to help someone else. So please understand and don't take it personally, it's not that you are being overlooked or ignored, the answer that you are searching for might already be here.

I hope this helps.


Edited 3/20/2004 6:19 pm ET ET by alifechoice

Avatar for shescomeundone2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sat, 03-20-2004 - 8:54pm
This is not a clique on here. This board is filled with women that are hurting and need help or have hurt and want to help others. Not every post gets a plethora of responses, but maybe sometimes people really don't have anything to contribute.

I feel bad that you refer to this board as a "joke". A few months ago this board saved me from suicide. If you think that is a joke then you are mistaken.

This board isn't here to serve as a substitute for professional help, so if you really feel helpless and invalidated then maybe you should consider some professional help. A support board can do just so much to help you.

Good luck to you and i am sorry that you are in pain.

Jazzdiva

Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 03-20-2004 - 10:48pm
I first discovered this board in November 2002. I was involved with a married man -- I'm single -- and I was experiencing the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. Within three months of first coming here I started NC, then broke NC, then finally ended everything in June of last year and am going on 9 months of NC now. For the first seven or eight months of my struggle this board really was a lifeline for me. I read and posted every single day. There were time when I didn't get too many responses and sometimes it bothered me. There were times when I thought other people got more attention or were more popular and that bothered me too. But you know what? It was when I realized that this board is about GIVING that I got the most out of it. So maybe, hard though it may be, and needy as you are, try giving. Try reading posts and reading about what other people are going through and give to them. I found that the more I gave the more people got to know me and the more responses and support I got.

I met a couple, no more than that, about four or five really great women here, and they really stood by me during the most difficult time of my life ... Maybe you need to focus on quality and not quantity. One or two responses is better than none at all. But again, I have found that on this board you only get as much as you put into it. It's a community and it works best when everyone participates, and that means giving as well as taking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 03-21-2004 - 4:32pm

There is no "click". And there's no "clique", either.


There are many people with regular lives who make VOLUNTARY contact to offer support, answers and suggestions to newbies and returnees.


Most of the posters are women. A few, such as me, are men. I think over the past year almost all of the "bashers" have finally left for good.


I myself am a CPA with a tax practice and right now I'm up to my ears in tax returns. I do try to check the board at least once every 48 hours in tax season. I'm also available via e-mail. Click on the link in the left hand column, or the link at the start of the home page and you'll get either Chis or me contact points.


The archives of this board cover a vast majority of extra-marital relationship experiences and how each person faced their situation and supportive suggestions from others. I encourage to read the archives. Use the key words to help match situations similar to yours.


With some patience, I believe you'll get more than just a couple replies.


We're here to help.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 11:39am
I just wanted to say Thanks to all who responded, I took your advice and read through alot of the messages posted and your right they helped alot. Once again THANKS!