Joy In Mudville

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2011
Joy In Mudville
9
Fri, 02-04-2011 - 7:02pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Fri, 02-04-2011 - 7:16pm
Hi Decade,

I am glad to hear you are working well with your T and putting your focus on you. A's are very painful for all involved and to learn about us and what was missing for us to chose those hurtful actions will see a better us in our journey to healing. I think it good you recognize this and I admire that you are giving your marriage your focus without the drama of the A clouding your thoughts:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2011
Fri, 02-04-2011 - 7:59pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
Fri, 02-04-2011 - 10:29pm

Hi Decade,

So happy to hear that things are improving for you and that you are focusing on your W and your marriage.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2010
Fri, 02-04-2011 - 10:38pm
Decade; love to read posts like yours. I'm glad you are in a much better place these days. :). I think that's so very wonderful that you are trying to put yourself back on the right path. Keep up the good work; it's great to hear how happy your W is and how much she's appreciating your new efforts.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2009
Sat, 02-05-2011 - 8:51am

Glad to hear you're doing so much better. NC is amazing at how quickly everything fades away when you leave it all alone. Please don't overdo it at home, because there is two sure ways to make your

**Bloodied but unbowed**
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2011
Sat, 02-05-2011 - 10:58am

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2010
Sun, 02-06-2011 - 1:30am

Hi Decade,

I'm so happy to hear you are progressing well. I am also trying to fake it till i make it with my H too, i am trying very hard.

I have a question for you - what would you have done if your XAP responded to your fishing attempt? You know you would be starting the crapola all over again don't you? And you have been doing so well, why would you want to relive that pain from the beginning again? You know the mantra here, no contact equals no new hurts.

It's not a walk in the park Decade, it's hard i know, I totally understand that you would miss the highs, and are finding it hard adjusting to a 'vanilla existence' (2010, Michelle). Be ever so grateful for dodging that dday bullet that would have forever changed the adoring way your W looks at you.

Take care and keep posting on EAS.

V888

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Sun, 02-06-2011 - 3:27am
Good to hear from you Decade. I had been wondering how you're getting on, and its great to hear that you have remained NC (with only one small stumble along the way.) Your wife sounds so happy to have the man she married back again.

Vanessa's phrase "vanilla existence" certainly strikes a chord with me as I adjust back to living my RL day in and day out, without the highs and lows that used to shape my days. I too am making an effort to be a better person at home, and to show my commitment to my M through daily acts of love. Some days are wonderful as we rediscover all the reasons we chose to spend our lives together. Other days are not so easy, but on those days I only need to look at our children's beautiful faces to know that I'm doing the right thing.

Stay strong and stay in touch.

Kat
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2011
Sun, 02-06-2011 - 11:45am