Just ended it....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2004
Just ended it....
2
Sun, 04-04-2004 - 4:14pm
Hello all. I just came across this board, of all days. Must be faith.

I just ended an almost 4 year affair with this man. I am divorced. We never saw each other often, when he could, etc. I am sure everyone knows the rules. Susposedly, his marriage was ending, not because of me, but because they have been living as "just friends" for years. I thought after all this time, just maybe...We were going to see each other tomorrow night. His W was going away for the night. I spoke with him yesterday and he said that he was going to dinner with her and friends. Today his mother in law was coming over for Palm Sunday. Thats when it hit me. No, honestly it hit me last night. He said, (last night) what are you doing tonight, I said, oh Im going out. I wasnt, I just said that. He called me today and said I will call you at work tomorrow. I said ok. He said whats wrong, I said, nothing. But after we hung up, I called him back. I told him I couldnt do this anymore. He said he perfectly understood. I said for you its one thing, for me its another, and then I said goodbye.

Am I relieved, maybe. Am I said, YES. Have I been crying, YES.

Ok, how do I cope with this? Did I mention that I truly loved this man. Can someone offer me some advice on how do I cope with this. My son keeps asking me whats wrong mom, and I say nothing. He knows Im upset and I am trying not to cry around him, but its soooo hard.

Thank you all for listening...

Caringone

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Sun, 04-04-2004 - 4:37pm
So sorry; I know how hard it is. It is okay to be sad and grieve for awhile. But you are doing the right thing!! The best way to cope is to try really hard to remember that, because it is easy to forget when you start feeling weak, and then it becomes so easy to slip back into the affair all over again. The other thing you need to remember is: NO CONTACT. It is the only way. Read through this board, there are so many others with similar tales to tell; it helped me so much to realize that. I know it will help you too!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Sun, 04-04-2004 - 6:11pm
Hello Care

There is no easy way past this, Cry and grieve for the relationship tell your done, then go total NO CONTACT any contact will just put you back to square one again.

Try to remember way you ended it, 4 years of being lied to about him leaveing his wife, do you want to spend another 10 being told the same rubbish, No I did not think so!

Keep busy, vent on this board as much as you want it will help to get your emotions out, focus on the things in your life that really matter such as your SON.

Understand that this will take time and a good deal of pain, but if you stick to it the day will come when you will be very happy that you did.

((((HUGS))))

F