Just ended.....devastated....
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Just ended.....devastated....
| Tue, 12-28-2010 - 11:00am |
It ended last night. Not because we decided to stay in our Ms, it ended because I
| Tue, 12-28-2010 - 11:00am |
It ended last night. Not because we decided to stay in our Ms, it ended because I
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Just keep breathing. You didn't cause an ending, it ended because all affairs are based on fantasy and when faced with brutal reality, they all end.
Be grateful your husband is there for you and is kind to you. Think how devastated HE would be if he knew why you're crying.
And yes, you need a new therapist. Stick around, people on this board are great, read and post any time, there is always someone who will respond to you.
xoxo
Gone
NON,
You are in the most absolute raw stage now, so I will not overwhelm you with a bunch of advice.
Big hugs to you and I am sorry you are hurting.
First a warm comforting hug to you because I know it feels unreal right now and you are hurting badly. We've all felt like you are feeling right now. I know you probably can't believe it, but trust in what everyone is saying that the pain will reside. I am worried that you might not be ready for it to end and any attempt xAP might make will cause you to crumble. You need to protect yourself, hun. Can you block him from contacting you??
Read all you can in the Healing Library. Prepare yourself mentally for what you are going to be feeling in the upcoming weeks. This pain is the FINAL pain you will feel over xAP if you want it to be. If you have faith and determination, you can get past this and he will never be able to hurt you again.
Stay strong,
Alwayst2
Heartache, thanks for your hugs. Definitely need them today.
Dee, thanks
Always, you had offered a safety net to me while we were replying to Wishes' post last week...and here you are as promised.
Oh ya, I am walking
Dearest Needoutnow,
Big hugs to you right now.
Welcome Needout :)
If there is one word that describes an affair, it's insecurity. You have come to the right place and it's time to get off the crazy train. Look at the first paragraph that you wrote - YOU ended it because you don't think he has the courage to, but then he leaves you crying saying HE needs time to think. When you re-read that, doesn't it seem messed up?
My exH was an introverted non-talker and I also found a man that I could communicate with. We talked ALL the time about everything. That lasted for several years. Fast forward to the last few years of my 7.5 year long hell, and there were TONS of silence on the phone. When I wasn't cutting him down and telling him he was never leaving, he was accusing me of "moving on" without him, blah blah yucky yucky blah. The point I want to make is that even though you are hurting and feel like you've lost some wonderful man that gets you and wants to provide much needed conversation, under the circumstances of the A, it will not last. I'm proof of that.
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You didn't cause anything Needout :) If he wanted to leave, he would leave. Period.
This is a new beginning for you. I can NOT believe your T suggested you stay in the A. Yes, find a new T NOW. That is insane.
As others have said, read all you can in the healing library and post often.
"The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment." -Pema Chodron
Bodhi
Sorry I am so late in welcoming you, but the gals here pretty much covered the basics. If I were to post a longer response it would echo everything Bodhi said. She just became a Super Tweener (6 months NC in EAS talk
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