just hit me with something hard...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2010
just hit me with something hard...
12
Thu, 03-25-2010 - 4:43pm

I am so, so angry with myself.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Fri, 03-26-2010 - 9:44am
Jane,
This post is so good, it needs to go in the Insights thread!
Truly, it's a gem.
xo
Dee
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2010
Fri, 03-26-2010 - 11:29am

I'm brand new to getting the benefits of venting about the reality of this situation here and I say: bravo for you! You stumbled, saw yourself stumbling and got yourself here where you can tell the truth. I have made every mistake you described. I have to see myself as the honest, sweet and decent person I am and take responsibility for taking care of myself. My AP, my H, my kids, noone is taking care of me except me.

I face temptation next week of breaking NC, so I'm a bit worried. I'm at 2 months + from D Day (husband saw an email I wrote). THe old pattern is that when my AP is alone (his wife and kids away) he makes contact. I just found out yesterday that they are leaving for a week, that he has decided to stay home instead of travel with them. I'm actually fearful that he stayed home partly calculating that he'd get a shot a time with me, which for the past would have been the status quo.

So, I'm off to find the discussion topic about keeping on track with my goals and preparing to be unavailable when he wants me to be available.

Good luck with your situation; be kind to yourself!

Pages