Just my thoughts

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Just my thoughts
8
Sat, 07-10-2004 - 1:16am
I came to this board to read about "Ending an Affair" I find the MW on here irritate me with thier reasons for staying in what they call an unhappy marraige. I am a SOW and XMM had the same reasons..I got tired of the same old song and dance. Either SH*T or get off the pot.Oh the children, oh the finances..whining about OM and how much they miss them. This may sound cruel, but I dont have any sympathy, If you hurt its your own doing by. DO you think of the OP and the wreck you leave them in when the A is over. I know I am in that black hole now sturggling to get out and come to terms with his empty words.

JMHO

Hope

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Sat, 07-10-2004 - 12:34pm
HI Hope

Being that you are single you cannot understand what it means or how hard it is to devorce and when you add the responsibilty for destroying the home and security of your own children to the issue it can be just about impossible to do, there is know worse feeling then knowing that you failed a marriage and your children, maybe you need to walk a mile in the XMW shoes to understand what she is going through and why she stays and trys to fix the marriage often even when her husband refuses to face up to the truth that the marriage is in bad shape.

I hope this help expand your prospective.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-10-2004 - 12:47pm
I am very bitter..from believing he loved me, as he told me he did...and in then end he is there..leaving me this emotional wreck..so much for LOVE. As for his children they are grown women...30 and 33 both married. So it was all Bull. I cant wait for the day when my heart catches up with my head and I see him for the insecure, wimp he really is. Wasted 2 yrs of my life on a lying loser.

Hope

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2004
Sat, 07-10-2004 - 1:06pm
Hope-

I just wanted to say I understand what you are going thru, and I feel your pain....

I have been on both sides of the situation and I know first-hand how difficult it is to leave a marriage under any circumstances, I also believe that it is better to cut your losses that just prolong the inevitable.I was faithful when married, he was not. I hung on trying to "fix things" and wasted several more years of my life on a lost cause.

Now I'm single and just getting out of an A with a MM. Of course I knew better, but I got involved anyway (heart overruling the head again) and I will be kicking myself for that for the rest of my life.

I thought my XMM and I were such close friends, how stupid was I to believe that he loved me and no matter what we would be friends...LOL As you can tell I am still missing him terribly after 6 weeks of NC. The bitterness is deep in me too and I'm working every day to dig myself out. I'm trusting all the posters here who say time will heal....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-10-2004 - 1:42pm
I didnt know he was married when we first met..when I finally found out I was already in love with him and I stayed..I am mad he dragged me in his MESS, knowing he was married. I must have SUCKER written on my forehead. But yet I miss his terribly as well as love him so very much.


HOPE

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
Tue, 07-13-2004 - 8:05am
You are very bitter, but don't care about the betrayed spouse. This is so typical of the self-centered and incosiderate. I find there's some poetic justice here in that you met someone just like yourself. Now you're getting a taste of the pain you cause others. I suppose not knowing he was married is a reasonable excuse for your transgressions, up to a nanosecond after you found out. After that, you should have figured out that the game was up. Do I have any compassion for your self-centered wining about not finding a life with the cheating husband. No. It's actually too bad that you didn't get together, then, a couple of years or months down the road, you could have gotten a taste of being another whining betrayed spouse yourself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2003
Tue, 07-13-2004 - 9:14am
Hi Hope,

I have read your posts on the all sides board. And I remember you from this board a while back. I am a WS who had an ema with a som. Every day I live with the fact that I played the fence sitting role and caused him pain. I don't really feel as bad for my H. He has mentally cheated on me in other ways. The pain I feel is for the OM. He did know that i was married when we met and he knew that. That is no excuse, but every situation is different. My OM is no innocent. He has had his share of secrets and hurt me in ways too. I guess every situation is different. I just know that hurt is hurt and it seems no one wins in these situations!! Hang in there Hope!!!

Karry

Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2004
Tue, 07-13-2004 - 11:04am
That's right, a lying loser. Just wondering why you couldn't figure it out earlier...He cheated on his wife with you, that should have told you who he really is. He cheated and lied to his wife what makes you think he won't do the same to you? Painful I know, just as painful as his wife feels.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-13-2004 - 10:59pm
Cheeky, Cheeky, thanks for the post..I think (sigh)

Hope