Just not sure what way is better

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2004
Just not sure what way is better
Sat, 03-12-2005 - 5:20pm

Ever since I saw MM 10 days ago I have been a wreck. He called me on Thursday and I hit ignore. But then stupid me text messaged him yesterday and asked if was going to be at this event today. All it required was a yes or no. i thought if I knew in advance I might not be so tense today. Well he never replied. I am so confused. Of course now I am thinking the worst like he didnt reply b/c he actually thought I'd work my attendance around him. I cant believe he'd ever be that way but I cant imagine why he woudlnt answer my text. It wasnt a loaded text! Not like him to ignore that.

I have to say I think it was maybe easier when we were clear in our minds it was over. For me, knowing he is thinking we are still having contact and me trying to work through it on my own may be making this worse b/c i wonder why he isnt callign etc. But I thought the finality was one of the hardest things last time he ended it to deal with. So I thought in my mind if I knew it was over i could just work on getting over it without a big goodbye thing with him.

I am just disappointed in him..in myself..

Going out with H tonight so I am going to try and focus just on my H and the friends we are with.