Just a plain ol' yucky day
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Just a plain ol' yucky day
| Tue, 10-19-2004 - 2:02pm |
Not sure why but today I am feeling just plain ol' "yucky"! To quote my 2 year old son. :)
Could be the rain. Could be that I find myself bored. Not sure but I am struggling today to not send that email that just checks to see how xMM is doing.
I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel but right now at this moment I cant see it. I am so bad at "letting go" and truth be told I am kinda scared that this feeling will never go away. I am holding on....but I have to tell you its not so easy all the time.
Dipss

I don't know why this happens. We have days when we are doing GREAT
(I am having one of those today - YES!)and we have days when we want to contact him (that was yesterday for me, today for you.)
All I know is that you need to CONTAIN those feelings. Write the email to yourself, DONT send it. Tomorrow you will most likely feel different. It will PASS. All feelings do.
The feeling will go away and everyday you DON'T contact him you feel better.
We're here for you.
I have been doing okay but get little jolts of pain every once in a while. A couple days ago I saw him online. I know he still lurks on the board we both used to post on, but it was weird seeing his name come up. And he posted under the name that only he and I used to communicate via PM. You'd think he'd create a new one and want no reminder of me in that way...but more likely, he just doesn't give a crap b/c I never meant that much to him anyway! And when I found out he'd called my apartment, that really set me back a few days. I was pretty shaken up.
But I keep coming here, keep reading, keep getting inspiration from all those who are in the same boat...and eventually I'm better able to get through the day. Keeping myself busy has also helped me dwell less on him and more on my current life and all I have going for me.
I too sometimes wonder if the day will come when he literally means nothing to me and I could care less what he's up to...but I know it will. I'm not a patient person so this is very hard...but I know if we all stay the course we will be so grateful that we did.
I haven't visited here in a long time. But I am here because I am having one of those days myself!! It happens. You will have these days from time to time, but I am sure your good days are probably more often then days like today!! Keep your chin up, tomorrow will be a better day!!
Karry
Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige
I am sorry you are feeling that way today, I was too. I almost sent an e-mail and then I came to this board and I read Lilyann77's THE TOP 10 REASON I AM GLAD IT'S OVER.
You should read it. It truly helped me and I am glad I read it.
Take Care hunny. Hang in there and fight that temptation, you can get through it. Today makes 5 weeks and 2 days of it being over. I am glad it is.....
Hugs
Ladybug
If you do your going to hate yourself 10 seconds later trust me on this.
Better you should turn the pc off and go out for a walk in the rain better for your health.
What would be the best thing to do for that little boy of yours ,send the mail or walk away from hte computer tell the urge passes ?????
Oh and I have a large stick with your name on it so watch your step kid.
Free
The buzz words:
WISHY-WASHY
DIGNITY
Free & I have got your back, dipss! ;) You don't want to go back to square one! And you WILL hate yourself for sending that email.
Maybe we need to start a big heated political debate to get your mind off things... Ha, just kidding, don't go there... How about a Yankees/Red Sox debate? ;-)
That's a great topic to get our minds of these "yucky" men!!
What is it about today?? I'm having one of those days too. I have started and deleted an email to XOM about half a dozen times. His b-day is this Friday which is killing me. The only thing keeping me from emailing him is reminding myself of the cocky way he responded to my last email titled "Final Words"..."Final words, huh?" is what he said...Yep - FINAL words!
STAY STRONG!!!
Diva
Well I just got back from getting some fresh air and picking up my son at pre-school. It was good to be out for a bit...then I came back to read all your responses...THANK YOU!!!
Katie - good thing I told you what gets to me huh??? I am sure you will never let me live that down. Yup, just keep pulling out those key buzz words that get me all the time.
Free- keep holding on to that stick - i know that i need a good whack sometimes!
Well I guess my feelings are really no different than anybody else here. We all feel the same pain, frustration, anxiety, and a roller coaster of emotions. I cant tell you how helpful all your responses are. I swear that normally I would have just emailed him. I am coming here instead. So sorry if I seem miserable and depressed at times. I am trying to stay positive and read through all the posts to further gain knowledge to why NO CONTACT IS THE ONLY WAY! (which I have to honestly tell you really sucks sometimes!!!! - OUCH! just felt Free's stick on my head)
ok...on another note...
So I am not from the States but live in NY now...and you know that I am rooting for those Yankees all the way! Funny though, I said to my H last night that I kinda felt bad for Boston and their fans but not bad enough to want the Yankees to lose. ;)
My son wore his Rodriguez Yankees jersey today at school and he looked too cute!
xo!
Dipps
Thanks again you guys!!!!
Also, don't underestimate the power of a rainy, blah day. It's raining where I am as well, and seems like a good day to curl up on the couch and nod off...
Feel better tomorrow, okay? Love, Mo.