Just say "Goodbye"...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Just say "Goodbye"...
2
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 7:01pm
My affair ended quite a while ago. I haven't heard from him since July. (We are both married. We knew each other before we even met our spouses.) Of course I understand why the contact (e-mail) should end, but I wish so desperately that he would just say "Goodbye". I just need that closure. I have e-mailed him asking for this, but he doesn't respond back. I know that tells me something, but I NEED a "Goodbye". I will never stop loving him, but I need to hear, or read, that "Goodbye".
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2003
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 2:52am
He is saying goodbye. And in doing it this way, he is being very kind. Any contact would very likely flair the whole thing up again. Thank him in your heart for being strong and respecting and caring about you enough to not want to hurt you further. It would be easy for him to manipulate the situation for his own gratification, but he is choosing not to do that. I would see his behaviour as a very positive closure. I am grateful everytime I log on to my email and my XMM hasn't written. That is to me the message that he does really care about my well being enough to respect my decision to no longer have contact.

Lala

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 3:35pm
If you need closure, then why not you tell him goodbye, and stop contacting him? or not say anything, just stop contacting him? It will be tough. But have someone hold you accountable. If that's not possible, try journaling when you want to talk to him. That way, you can get it out, but he doesn't need to know that the door is open for him. Or closed for that matter. Make up your mind, and let him wander. Take control of your situation and your life. Don't let him control you.