Just say NO.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Just say NO.
7
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 6:59pm

Article from www.DailyOm.com

Many of us, from childhood on, are taught that saying yes is right and saying no is wrong. We learn that acceding to demands allows us to avoid conflict and criticism, please people, earn praise, and prove that we care for the important people in our lives. Yet the right to say no is indelibly intertwined with the ability to make choices. When we sense we are limited in our options, compelled to say yes even when doing so is not in our interests, we are effectively robbed of our ability to choose. Growing out of this tendency to say yes even when we desperately want to say no can be challenging because we suspect that others will reject us for our assertiveness. But the reward we receive upon facing this challenge is true freedom of choice. When others ask you to take on work or do favors, consider their requests carefully. If you feel pressed to say yes, consider whether you are acquiescing out of a desire for approval or to stave off disapproval. Remind yourself often that the ability to say no is an important aspect of well-being, as it is an indication that you understand the true value of your energy, talents, and time. As you learn to articulate your personal power by saying no, you may feel compelled to explore the myriad consequences of the word by responding negatively to many or most of the requests put to you. The word “no” may even become your default response for some time. When you see that life moves forward without interruption, however, you will grow more comfortable saying no and will resume making decisions from a point of balance. There is nothing inherently wrong with acceding to the requests others make of you, provided these requests do not infringe upon your health or your happiness. Keep in mind that it is only when you feel you have the legitimate right to say no that you can say yes with utmost certainty, sincerity, and enthusiasm. While saying yes almost always has a cost, you can feel good about offering your agreement when your reasons for doing so are rooted in your individual values and your appreciation for the appeal before you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2009
In reply to: deeulta
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 8:41pm
Thanks, dee, for posting this great article. I need all the reinforcement I can get!
CSN
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2009
In reply to: deeulta
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 5:06am

Dee, thank you so much for posting this! I needed that!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
In reply to: deeulta
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 6:20am

Great article, Dee. Maybe you could repost it in the HL. I know that you were referencing it to affairs, but I sure wish I had read it back when my mother was alive. ;-)

((Hugs))

~ Iddy~

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
In reply to: deeulta
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 10:00am

Thanks, Iddy. I will repost it in a bit when I get to work.

God rest your mother's soul. I totally know what you mean!!!

I would like to suggest we practice various forms of no-ing in the bathroom mirror today. I am working on the silent but deadly: Hand up, one eyebrow raised, lip slightly curled.... then hit them with a small snort that says (eloquently) "as if!" Then there is the "Pahleez" , the "Don't Even." and the "uh, yeah, NO." My all time favorite is still the "Get the f*ck outta my face" stare.

xo
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
In reply to: deeulta
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 10:15am

As always, a great post and

BE the change that you want to see in the world! Life loves me and I love life! <3
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2009
In reply to: deeulta
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 10:22am

LOL I was also thinking about my mother and father! And xAP... I think that's the saying 'no' being so difficult with xAP is because of my youth though. But we're working on it.

xoxoxoxox

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
In reply to: deeulta
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 11:35am

"What part of NO do you not understand"