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| Mon, 05-24-2004 - 10:40am |
Now about the MM, I've been reading posts today about all these MM who look to us to give them what they need, and then they can't be there for us in return. It's just beyond me how people can be so selfish. I don't know how I could live with myself on a day to day basis if I used someone the way alot of us have been used and then just tossed them out like they were garbage. Even though I really do want a friendship with my exMM, I'm still angry at the treatment that I've gotten all along. Part of the anger is at myself for allowing it to happen. But I just can't fathom someone caring so much and loving someone but disregarding their feelings at the same time. Ugh. I'm in such a yucky mood today. Thanks for reading and if you would love to respond with some positivity I would love to read it. I sure could use it!

All of these "others" who used us to get positive feelings about themselves, they're most likely narcissistic to some extent. If you've done any research on narcissism, you know that its a personality disorder. Not to defend these thoughtless slobs, but they really don't know what they're doing. They can't see anything or anyone beyond their own needs. You can't really substitute your perspective for his, because (presumably!) you are NOT a narcissist. It's like me being an addict. If you're not an addict, you can't relate to the crazy way my mind works and why I think its an excellent idea to spend my days in a blackout. No sane person does that, right??? I do it because I have a real problem. Narcissists have a real problem as well. Their coldness, thoughtlessness and emotional vacancy doesn't represent a problem for THEM. Their only problem is when they can't find a "source" to make their ego feel better. Everyone - EVERYONE - who enters the narcissist's life is there to meet the narcissist's needs.
That's not to suggest that every "other" mentioned on this board suffers from the narcissistic personality disorder. But everyone has a certain degree of narcissism. These "others" may just have a healthier sized dose of it than most people. I do believe that my DH has narcissistic tendencies. He's not cold, thoughtless or emotionally vacant by any stretch. He has alittle problem with wanting his ego stroked pretty often, but he's working on it with a T. There are varying degrees of narcissism.
That's why, IMHO, you wouldn't be able to live with yourself if you sucked the soul out of another person and then moved on, but some of our "others" can. Love, Mo.
Anyway, keep your head up and this too shall pass.
Much love,
Real