Katsmeow! My xmm was a cop 2!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2004
Katsmeow! My xmm was a cop 2!
3
Mon, 12-20-2004 - 12:53am

Kat:

I was reading your last reply from a day or so ago. OMG! Some serious similarities. Not implying we're talking about the same person, but wow! My XMM was a cop too. After two plus years he told me his wife "just knew." Of course, I pressed. Only months later did he finally say she "knew" because it turns out he told her for Pete's sake! Same deal: only calls to his work cell or desk. NEVER to his home. Not once.

Mr. "Ever so careful" sang like a canary the very first time she confronted him. By the way, we continued to see each other (mostly w/out the physical part) for a long, long time after. Ultimately, I was more discreet, loyal to him than he was to me. Be very careful that she "just knows." As I said, I heard those exact words. Cops wives are savvy, and I never took mine (or yours) for a fool. She was smarter than he was in the end. All it took was a suspicion (and no hard evidence) for HIM to spill all. Let me know what's going on with you. I'm sorry about your not sleeping. That alone can make you paranoid and fragile. Take a tylenol PM for three or four nights just to get your sea legs back.

I am thinking about you. I wonder what other similarities our XMM have?

Oct31

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
Mon, 12-20-2004 - 2:47pm

Hi Oct31

I saw the subject line of your note (my name) and my stomach dropped! Wow, what a coincidence... I can't believe he actually admitted it to her! I don't think my guy did that, he just kind of blows it off when she brings it up which I'm guessing is often... I think the thing that's really bugging him is the guilt that he has afterwards - when he looks at his 4 yr old daughter he gets really choked up and feels like he's betraying her. He's told me that if he didn't have a child, he would've left his wife by now. He's very resentful of her (she doesn't want to be intimate at all, (said he's had sex with her 8 times over the last 2 yrs!) she never has time for him, doesn't appreciate him, doesn't do anything around the house, is always too tired for anything, etc.) There's alot of stuff going on there (I think she's very depressed).

Anyway... where is/was your guy a cop... Mine was NYPD. Have you been in contact with him since it's over? I have this overwhelming desire just to talk to him... We were really good friends and talked practically every day and I am truly going to miss that. Granted, the sex was amazing too but if I can't be with him (and I'm not mad about the reason why - I understand the guilt... I have a lot of it as well but I think because I don't have kids I can deal with it all a little better than him.) BTW, my husband is retired NYPD - freaky huh? No, they don't know each other, thank God! I made sure of that... My brother is also NYPD and made sure there was no connection there either.

Anyway, if you want to chat privately, you can email me anytime.

Talk soon.

Jo

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2004
Tue, 12-21-2004 - 12:40pm

Hi Kat:

Mine was not NYPD. Midwest. I do miss talking with him, and not calling has been very very hard on me. I agree and understand about the guilt. That's what ended mine and I feel the guilt too. My ending felt abrupt, and after almost three years, a real void in my life. I hope and pray you never have to encounter his wife. It's just an ugly thing. And again, I fully understand why they hate us. But I'd love to see you avoid that sort of scene, because it does hurt. I chose not to strike back and I could have.

I'm gone for 2 weeks and not near e-mail. Take care. I hope we connect when I get back.

Oct31

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
Tue, 12-21-2004 - 8:40pm
Ok Oct31news -
Take care and drop me a line when you get back. Happy Holidays!