A kinder, gentler place?
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| Mon, 11-08-2004 - 3:41pm |
Many of us are in individual counseling, and many of us are thinking about it. Perhaps some constructive topics - not just on "oh, I miss my XMM so much I could shoot myself!" but discussions on the positives - what we're learning about ourselves as a result of the A, how we're putting our marriages back together, what we're doing with all our new spare time, etc.
I must admit, I have felt quite a bit of negative energy on this board of late. I personally was very surprised to read about how many folks are intimidated to post here, and ya know, that shouldn't be the case. (I personally am usually not bright enough to get intimidated...) but I think when an open forum for discussion becomes a place that creates tension and intimidation in those people who seek/need support, maybe it's time to address the atmosphere.
Without lambasting anyone while still keeping in mind that the A should actually be ended in order to participate, isn't there a way to generate greater integration of where we all are in our journeys?? Is it possible to create some different categories where you can go just to post/vent what you need to; i.e. maybe we have a section for folks who just want to vent that they miss their ex without getting berated for their feelings. Maybe a section for those who need a smack upside the head with 2x4. Maybe a section for those who are having difficulty maintaining NC - that way others who are struggling KNOW not to read those posts. Maybe a section for those who have just initiated NC. Whatever.
Just some thoughts, folks. The negative energy here has actually become pretty apparent and I just wanted to share my input before I sign off this board for good - which I really don't want to do because I can only afford to see my therapist once a week!!!! LOL. Love, Mo.


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They know who they are - and they are angry more than they are happy. It spills over into there everyday lives - I hope they find the peace that they preach.
To your comment - BINGO!!!!!!!!!
We are struggling. ALL of us. Lets not forget that everyone.
"But isn't there some way to restructure this board so we can avoid those posts and situations that ignite us, while clicking onto those posts and situations we do want to hear about???? Its not terribly unorthodox, many other boards are set up that way."
Your idea is not a bad one but unfortunately CL_Noregrets was the person you should have presented this to. He wrote on Monday that he won't be back to the boards until tomorrow or Thursday, I forget, but it's in Nov 7th posts somewhere....
Just wondering though, if you read some of CL's posts, he can get harsh too if he sees that certain posters just aren't "GETTING" it. I think that is when most of us old-posters lose our patience, even though that is no excuse for being nasty. I apologize to anyone I may have been too blunt to, and I will bite hard on my index finger's middle knuckle the next time I get rattled.
~True~
No, I don't think you have been overly critical. I just think in general the overall tone of this board has changed, and it isn't always nice here. I see some regular posters disappearing and I don't know if its because of the atmosphere here, or not. I know that I, for one, would think long and hard before coming to this board for support when I had a fleeting thought about my XMM for fear of being trashed. There are days when I can handle a good stern lecture, and days when I'm just not up to it. But that's my problem and everyone in this community need not cater to my moods. My thought is just to allow some safe haven for folks to vent when they feel sentimental or emotional or its the XMM's birthday, or any other one of those triggers that make up momentarily insane. Thanks for your input. Love, Mo.
PG
Thank you Mo for an astute post on what the purpose of this board serves to all posters.
I believe it is time for this thread to wind down.
I also believe that there have been several posts of late that seem to be rather judgemental on a personal level. Please, all of you, take
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