For Kmg6
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For Kmg6
| Wed, 04-07-2010 - 4:48pm |
Hi Kmg,
You asked me some questions on another posts and since we were kind-of post hijacking and since I have a glove box full of EAS post-jacking violations, I figured I’d spare Iddy a finger wagging and try to answer you this way.

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Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
E1:
Your timing on the bump up was coincidental because I told myself I was going to take the time to respond to you today.
"For PAs, it’s what gives the sex the potential to have an added boost, the secrecy gives it the forbidden/mysterious nature and I think particularly for women it’s the idea we have something that is our own and helps define our individualism"
E1, that sentence just slapped me upside the head and turned on a light! I never thought of it in those terms..."for women it's the idea we have something that is our own..." Soooo very true in my case. I thought I "deserved" my A. It was mine, all mine, and no one elses and no one else's business either. My life, my decision. My thrill, my escape. Whoa. I have to think on this some more.
I've been having a rough couple of weeks...really wanting to see him again. Thinking it would be okay, since it's LD, to just have a rendevouz every now and then for good time's sake. No strings. But oh yeah, I tried that and it didn't work. I am still working through this pile of manure in my brain.
There are simply no words to thank you and Iddy enough for the wisdom you so selflessly bestow on us newbies and tweeners. Please don't ever leave us!!!
~alwayst2
Always:
I meant to express the same sentiment in my response to E1.
kmg, your reply to E1 was very revealing. You sound like you were indeed carrying the world on your shoulders. I wonder why we women always feel we have to be so strong and it is so difficult for us to reach out to our spouses for the support when we need it??
I can see why you felt you deserved your A. You sacrificed a fulfulling and rewarding career to care for your family. You gave up a big part of "you." I felt similarly because my H was in the military. We moved every two or three years and I always had to find a new job, make new friends, etc. I felt I never had the chance to establish myself or my career or determine who I was other than a "military spouse." I still keep wondering what it is I want to do when I grow up. I never quite feel completely fulfilled. I am working on that in T, though.
I think I will go have
Always:
I used to wonder how the wives of military officers could seem to satisfied.
Thanks, kmg. There are a lot of rewards that come with the sacrifices. We got to travel all over, meet interesting people, get a feel for different cultures and learn the nuances of the towns and people all over our great nation. There is also an extreme amount of pride that comes from being a military spouse for all the dedication and professionalism demonstrated by our spouses day in and day out throughout their career. I was also forever in awe of the many ceremonies and traditions of the military, and felt priviledged to be part of it.
But yes, the sacrifice of giving up one's own life to support the spouse can take a toll. I was married so young, at 20, that I never did get to finish college or establish a career. However, I had the opportunity to do many, many different things. As a military spouse, you learn quickly to adapt to your new environment.
My H has been retired for 10 years and we have been settled in one place for about 14 years now. It has been my time to grow. I very much enjoy being involved in our community. I do get a lot of validation and self-satisfaction from that. I need to put more of my energy and focus on the positive things in my life, because really, there are so many.
I'm still not sure what compelled me to engage in this A, other than the thrill and excitement of reconnecting with past xap. I was enraptured by the danger and naughtiness of it all, especially since xap is a very high ranking individual and the risks were enormous. That he paid me so much attention, made me feel so incredibly desireable, sexy
<<<<"for women it's the idea we have something that is our own..." Soooo very true in my case. I thought I "deserved" my A. It was mine, all mine, and no one elses and no one else's business either. My life, my decision. My thrill, my escape. Whoa. I have to think on this some more.>>>>
Exactly. This was where my head was for 3 years. I too thought I deserved this self indulgence. Maybe for those of us who are past a certain age and feel "now what?", this can become a deluded valid excuse to start an affair. My H traveled the world and lead a dang exciting life while I stayed home and raised our children. I was eating peanut butter with my kiddos once when he called home from Paris. Minor yes, but it pretty much summed up my existence for many years. I felt the affair was all mine. I didn't have to share (well, I was huh!!) I didn't have to live to please someone else, I didn't have schedules to follow. I felt like a grown adult woman because I felt in control. How freaking crazy is that! This is totally nuts, but often in public with xAP, I'd feel jazzed by thinking "he's mine, we are not married to each other, but we love each other like you people would never know". How more messed up can that egotistical statement be!? I would be glowing with lust for that guy and he ate it up. Ugh.
Your post about the peanut butter really touched a nerve.
Always:
I would love to chat sometime.
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