"Thanks. I learn so much here from those of you who take the time to respond kindly and intelligently. I appreciate that input."
I may be able to manage Kind but not sure about Intelligently, we work with what we have.
It sounds like your going through a period of withdrawl, this happens with decreasing frequancy and intensity over time if you keep NC, you will get past this in a day or two in most cases and be OKAY again.
Venting here at the board and even supporting others will help you get through it.
Sorry you are feeling so bad. My A has been over for some time and I still look for answers. Sometimes we never get them. I was in my A for a long time and one day it was over. I still think about the WHYS and probably will for a long time. I don't know your whole story but it does take time and it hurts like hell. Come here and read the posts they really do make you feel better. Everyone has different ways of coping. I am still very angry and want answers to many questions. But I also know that I may never get them. So with that I try hard every day to put it all behind me and move on. Hope this helps, just know you are not alone.
My A ended in Oct too but one year ago. I have been a hard case and it has taken me a LONG time to get over it. But I have to say that FINALLY I am healing. It takes a long time to gain perspective. I am grateful that I never acted bad to XMM. He left me after I divorced my H and I think somehow the fact that I never hurt him makes it harder for him to get over me (he still contacts me--I don't respond) But I feel more and more how badly he hurt me. Mainly--just having to go through my D alone and get over him alone was so extremely painful and he was never there not one day. He contacted me when it was convenient for him (maybe when the coast was clear with his W again)But I can now resist him. I don't ever contact him and have no desire to. The longer you get away from it the more you can't allow yourself to receive only a few hours of someone's time--and you also can't allow yourself to betray your own morals anymore because you want to be a good person again. It takes a long, long time and it is excruciatingly painful. But I thought I would never feel better. I do feel better now. I am starting to date and I have a dozen roses on my desk from a man who wants to see me all the time and not just steal away for a few hours. I don't feel the strong emotion for him that I felt for xMM--but I am taking it slow and will see what happens.
Oct
"Thanks. I learn so much here from those of you who take the time to respond kindly and intelligently. I appreciate that input."
I may be able to manage Kind but not sure about Intelligently, we work with what we have.
It sounds like your going through a period of withdrawl, this happens with decreasing frequancy and intensity over time if you keep NC, you will get past this in a day or two in most cases and be OKAY again.
Venting here at the board and even supporting others will help you get through it.
Free
Hi Oct,
Sorry you are feeling so bad. My A has been over for some time and I still look for answers. Sometimes we never get them. I was in my A for a long time and one day it was over. I still think about the WHYS and probably will for a long time. I don't know your whole story but it does take time and it hurts like hell. Come here and read the posts they really do make you feel better. Everyone has different ways of coping. I am still very angry and want answers to many questions. But I also know that I may never get them. So with that I try hard every day to put it all behind me and move on. Hope this helps, just know you are not alone.
Heart
Dear Oct,
My A ended in Oct too but one year ago. I have been a hard case and it has taken me a LONG time to get over it. But I have to say that FINALLY I am healing. It takes a long time to gain perspective. I am grateful that I never acted bad to XMM. He left me after I divorced my H and I think somehow the fact that I never hurt him makes it harder for him to get over me (he still contacts me--I don't respond) But I feel more and more how badly he hurt me. Mainly--just having to go through my D alone and get over him alone was so extremely painful and he was never there not one day. He contacted me when it was convenient for him (maybe when the coast was clear with his W again)But I can now resist him. I don't ever contact him and have no desire to. The longer you get away from it the more you can't allow yourself to receive only a few hours of someone's time--and you also can't allow yourself to betray your own morals anymore because you want to be a good person again. It takes a long, long time and it is excruciatingly painful. But I thought I would never feel better. I do feel better now. I am starting to date and I have a dozen roses on my desk from a man who wants to see me all the time and not just steal away for a few hours. I don't feel the strong emotion for him that I felt for xMM--but I am taking it slow and will see what happens.
You will feel better someday---I promise!
Survive