The last 48 hours......

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
The last 48 hours......
8
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 9:09pm

Have been agonizing. I will share what has been happening here in hopes to:


1) get your thoughts


2)warn all of you that the risk of a dday doesnt go away.


It all started on Monday afternoon when my H received an email from a gmail acct. He and I have different email addresses but they both feed into the same acct. Therefore, I see his emails and he sees mine. The email caught my eye because it had my 1st name in the header. I opened it and it said: Would you divorce her if you knew she had a torrid affair?


Yep, my heart and stomach were in my throat and I was in a panic. Since this person (email address was a womans name with our city in it as well) thought they were emailing my H, I wrote back. I emailed back: Why do you ask?


Tuesday....I get another email that says: "you might want to see what she has to say on the subject". I email back: "What do I need to know and what are you

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2010
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 9:34pm

A wave of nausea just washed over me.

I feel your angst in your words. The fear is palpable. GMLB, you are incredible. You are so strong. You can hold this together.

I have been reminded lately of just how differently hard the impacts are that we each face. Some of us have had to deal with the horror of Ddays (families torn apart, children's hearts broken), some of us still work with xAP, some have lost jobs, some of us still cope with fishing attempts, stalking ...

and some of my sisters are are carrying the burden of never knowing if today is the day their world as they know it is about to fall apart.

I can only imagine what this lived reality is like day to day. How it leaves you feeling vulnerable and on high alert all the time. How exhausting. Some think this is the cross the be carried for the wrongs committed - it feels to me like a life sentence. I know you aren't asking for advice on whether to tell him or not, and I think only you know what your life can handle, and this is a decision to be thought about and talked about with a therapist ... I just want to put it on the table as an option. I hate to see my sisters incarcerated indefinitely.

I am praying to the Universe that this all passes ... that the emails will stop.

GMLB - whatever you need, however you need it, I just want you to know that I will try my best to be here for you.

Stay Strong. Stay NC.

LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou

LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 9:42pm

GLMB -

I'm thinking and praying for you. I know it's hard, but try not to worry. I understand a little how you feel, several years ago, XAP received an anonymous letter at his work basically saying the people in the community knew about his "indiscretion" (which made me feel great to be referred to as that) and that he should stop. Someone also signed my name up with his last name as a bride-to-be and I received a bunch of junk mail and email for several months. I know what I did was wrong, but it was very hurtful. That kind of thing brings "scary" to a new level. To this day, I have no idea who was behind it. Hang in there OK? We're all here for you.

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2010
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 11:34pm

GMLB,


When you post that message asking Iddy

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2010
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 1:56am

GMLB !!!


My heart goes out to you, having experienced similar terror when xAP's W rang to ask to speak to my H, it just brings you to your knees, thank goodness for you that you intercepted the email first....... how brave to keep emailing to

New Choices, New Chapter,


New Challenges,

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 9:19am

I wrote privately to GMLB so she knows my heart hurts for her right now so I won't address that again. I just wanted to put in my two cents re: NC's statement that GMLB was 'brave' to respond to the email to 'find out more'. It's my opinion that it would have been better if GMLB had NOT responded to the email at all. I think she had a very understandable and panicked knee-jerk reaction - and that it would have been better to 1) post here for help first, 2) enacted Jane's 48 hour rule. Responding to that email let that a-hole know that the email hit its mark. Engaging that person added fuel to their stalkery destructive fire. If she'd not responded, that person would have never known if the email actually made it to the intended victim and, ideally, they would not have tried again or become bored waiting for a response and moved on to other f'd up agendas.

For all of us non-dday having, not-telling Enders, this situation is our worst nightmare and an looming threat that will haunt us. I want to throw up thinking about it. But think about it, we must. Pray for the best, but prepare for the worst.

My thoughts are with GMLB and wishing her the best,
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2010
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 9:46am

OR .....

New Choices, New Chapter,


New Challenges,

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 2:02pm

Emailing back was definately a knee jerk reaction and I didnt have the clarity to come here 1st. Im still in a panic that after all this time NC, XMM is wanting to out me and force me into a dday.


The rules and promises change after NC, there is no longer any loyalty. Ive been trying for the last 3 months to close my heart off to him and never once thought this could happen. We both always promised this wouldnt happen. We swore we would never do this.


It may not be XMM but either way its scaring the $hit out of me and Im on high alert.


My H doesnt deserve to be burdeoned with this terrible mistake that I made, I do!! I will carry this with me forever to prevent him from ever having to feel such pain from my selfish acts.


I just hope that whoever it was thought they were indeed emailing with my H and will stop there. Im hoping the accomplished what they set out to do and will now back off.


I can only ask for forgivness and pray.


I will post here FIRST if any additional emails come through, Ill need to be talked down from the ledge for sure.


And apparently gmail is hard to trace. Ive come up with nothing!!


GMLB

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
Fri, 08-06-2010 - 2:03pm

My dearest GMLB,


I have been away and out of town and my heart just broke for you when I read this.

BE the change that you want to see in the world! Life loves me and I love life! <3