last straw
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| Sun, 05-22-2005 - 9:08pm |
I just read something on another very recent thread here that mentioned that we all have our "last straw" encounter with the XAP, at least those of us who have tried to or bbeen forced due to work situations to remain in some sort of contact with the XAP. Mine came this week after nine months since ending the A. XMM and I work for the same department but no longer in the same office or same building which has been a blessing. The contact has been very limited during the past few months with XMM making what contact there was between us, usually dropping by my office to chat with his former coworkers, including me. After an A with him for three years and what I thought was a friendship/coworker relationship for 15 years, I had hoped against everyone's knowledgable advice that we could remain some type of friends, or at least on a friendly basis.
Two weeks ago, he came to my office and I made the mistake of allowing him to sit and talk with me about what has been happening with him. Pretty general stuff. I also shared with him the fact that DH and I were going on a nice vacation. This week, Monday, when I returned from vacation, he called me at work to supposedly ask me how my vacation went. He then proceeded to tell me that last week he had contacted and slept with a woman he had fooled around with previous to our A. He knows very well that I had disapproved of his relationship with her, for lots of reasons, and he knew it would bother me greatly to know he was doing this again.
I have to admit that it did bother me, but the fact that bothered me the most was that he cares so little for me as a "friend", that he would tell me this deliberately to hurt me. I told him that I didn't want to hear about any of his personal stuff and that we really didn't have anything to talk about any more at all, then I hung up the phone. This was my last straw with him. Finally I see him for what everyone else has been telling me he is. A self centered game playing hurtful person and he is now out of my heart. It makes me sad because we have known one another for many years, but this was the closing chapter in any type of friendship at all with him. It is kind of a relief also.
Just thought I would share my "last straw" story. I'm sure lots of you have your own. It just takes a while for some of us to get the complete message that NC is really the most affective means of ending the A. I am now a believer.
IP

~Iprincess~
He couldn't stand the fact that you and your husband had a lovely vacation together. My guess is that he concocted the whole thing just to have something to throw in your face when you returned. True or not, it shows just how immature this man is, and how lucky you are to have this idiot out of your life.
We just can't give an inch