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| Sat, 12-29-2012 - 2:54pm |
I need to go NC and let it go. Obviously AP isn't going to respond and I need to let it go. I am dangerously close to looking like an idiot. We have a pattern that leads to embarrassment and pain. He ignores me and I react. He knows how to push my buttons. And for what? Probably nothing to do with me and his selfish ass.
I needed his friendship yesterday. And nothing. No response in this game of his. Showed his true colors yet again. I decided to take back my dignity and self respect. I no longer want to feel like this. This isn't fun. A's are supposed to be fun.
I have been lurking over hear from MAS. It was a short time from there to here unlike last time. I must remember that Xap's don't change. NC is effective for a reason. 30 min of NC so far. Lol. Here's to not looking like an idiot!
- I am here again, broken but determined to finally let go 6
- Fool me once didn't work... 3
- It's been a while... 5
- Another newbie 15
- I'm new and need help! 5
- I Finally Did NC - I'm Back to Heal
- One-Year Anniversary 2
- I need someone to talk me off the ledge of disaster... 10
- Whatzzup? 4
- Valentine's Day 2
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Welcome over here, Lostbutnotfound
Congratulations on your now 45 minutes of NC and reclaimed dignity.
I'm glad you've been lurking here, so you understand how and why NC works. No more embarrassing moments and no more pain from the affair interaction...only silence from here on in.
Now, have you blocked all avenues of communication to protect yourself?
About that silence from here on in...did you actually bring your affair to a close with a formal message. I mean, that is really the best way...so that down the line you don't start negotiating with the ole "but I never said goodbye'. I think it is important so you are both on the same page and know it is truly the end. Something short and simple..."I am done...you will receive no further contact from me...do not contact me." Then, block all avenues of communication...down to the teeniest of weeniest paths.
Can you do that?
((hugs))
Clarity
withClarity, Community Leader...EAS
"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." -Eleanor Roosevelt
Hi Lost - by my count it's almost an hour! Yay! I have a couple of thoughts for you, one is that yes, NC is most definitely the way out and onto the high road again. But I would encourage you to think of NC as a forward move, you are taking charge of the rest of your life and not looking back. It is not a reaction to his not contacting you - a "well, since he isn't responding, then nyah nyah to him." The reason for this is that you will be less likely to react to any future possible entanglements with xAP and will have a better perspective on why you are moving on. It is hard, and you will question youself along the way. So look forward, cut the ties, block the emails, change names, whatever you have to do. you are right that xAPs do not change ( my A was 12 yrs) - if they were not there for you once then they are not likely to ever really be there for you, except at their convenience or when they think you are ending. Any contact now would only be a temporary patch and you'll be on the hamster wheel again! So give yourself a nice new Year's present and keep up NC. Hour 2, here you come. ~ Daisy
Nahhh...no bashing allowed. Your future will, however, be dependent upon just why you are going NC today...if you are playing a game as well or if you are serious. When we are serious, we leave no door open...not even ajar. And even if we 'feel' serious at the moment, there will be weak moments...so slamming that door shut and then nailing it shut...so even we can't slip in and back...is in our best interest.
Okay..so what's the count now? 2 hours...40 minutes! You're on a roll!
Clarity
withClarity, Community Leader...EAS
"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." -Eleanor Roosevelt