late night 'fishing'

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2012
late night 'fishing'
8
Fri, 11-02-2012 - 12:32pm

My xAP tried alittle fishing late last night.  I read it, but didn't reply.   And then I added the # to my block list.

I didn't sleep much thinking about it.  But I know I'm doing the right thing.  Still going over it in my head, but will stay busy today and hope it goes away.

Not going to lie and say it's not hurting today, because it really is.   But, I have a very full and fun weekend planned and I'm not going to let this spoil it as I have so many times over the years with him. 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Fri, 11-02-2012 - 5:12pm

Hi Blonde,

So sorry you dealt with the pain of fishing. You are doing the right thing by not responding.  You could always journal a response just for you and your eyes. That way you might be able to express some of the hurt and anger you feel from his words so that you can let it out and let it go.

Hope you have a good weekend with the fun things you have planned.

Onward and upward you go,

E1

Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Sat, 11-03-2012 - 3:41pm

Unbelieveable that I found this post inbetween October postings.  My patience is running thin.

I'm sorry he fished, Blondehigh.  Proud of you that you didn't respond.  Sorry it ruined your moment.  Glad you will not allow it to ruin your upcoming plans for fun.

Hopefully, he's going to lose interest.  His fishing hook can come up empty just so many times before he gets the message 'go fish in someone's pond'. 

Enjoy your weekend :)

((hugs))

Clarity


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2012
Sat, 11-03-2012 - 7:53pm

So glad you're there, Clarity.  Frustrated with the board and not being able to access it as easily as before.

But, still here and holding on. A part of me is glad to know he's thinking enough to want to try and contact me.  That's what I need help with!  Because in the end, I know it will go bad and I'll be hurt and have to start all over again. 

I loved the thread that someone started about all the reasons why their A went wrong.  I'd like to make a list like that.  It seems like it would be really helpful to get it all out there.  I wish I had someone that I could just tell it all to, from start to what I hope is now the end.  And then get opinions and advice.  It seems to come out bit by bit here.  There's always so much more to all of our stories.

I'm all over the place today, angry and hurt and missing him.  Ugh.  Not going to go there. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2012
Sat, 11-03-2012 - 7:54pm

So glad you're there, Clarity.  Frustrated with the board and not being able to access it as easily as before.

But, still here and holding on. A part of me is glad to know he's thinking enough to want to try and contact me.  That's what I need help with!  Because in the end, I know it will go bad and I'll be hurt and have to start all over again. 

I loved the thread that someone started about all the reasons why their A went wrong.  I'd like to make a list like that.  It seems like it would be really helpful to get it all out there.  I wish I had someone that I could just tell it all to, from start to what I hope is now the end.  And then get opinions and advice.  It seems to come out bit by bit here.  There's always so much more to all of our stories.

I'm all over the place today, angry and hurt and missing him.  Ugh.  Not going to go there. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2012
Sat, 11-03-2012 - 7:55pm

So glad you're there, Clarity.  Frustrated with the board and not being able to access it as easily as before.

But, still here and holding on. A part of me is glad to know he's thinking enough to want to try and contact me.  That's what I need help with!  Because in the end, I know it will go bad and I'll be hurt and have to start all over again. 

I loved the thread that someone started about all the reasons why their A went wrong.  I'd like to make a list like that.  It seems like it would be really helpful to get it all out there.  I wish I had someone that I could just tell it all to, from start to what I hope is now the end.  And then get opinions and advice.  It seems to come out bit by bit here.  There's always so much more to all of our stories.

I'm all over the place today, angry and hurt and missing him.  Ugh.  Not going to go there. 

Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
Sat, 11-03-2012 - 8:20pm

Take a moment and think about his fishing.

It may help to even write it down, and develop a logical step by step scenario of where he trying to lead you by contacting you. One step leads to another step.  Write it down.

Unless you are willing to give up everything and everyone and he is willing to give up everything and everyone, then it ends up with very bad results. A little bit of maybe, temporary happiness? And the chances of that are slim. You are right back to where you were when you started this.

The ego stroke from being wanted is nice, but unless you are ready, and he is ready to commit to each other, then it goes nowhere but down, down down. Down to the pits.

From experience I can tell you breaking contact only hurts.  It did every time.  I regretted it every time that I failed.  I tricked myself into believing that this time it was different.  Never even came close.

There is no logical reason for ever going back to an A.  Unless you are going to commit, then you are just wasting you time, your honor, your love and your life.

It hurts, I know.  It's hard to think straight.  But it is all worth it. You going somewhere now.

Take the rejection and move on. Move on with your life.

It get easier as time goes by.  Give time, time.

Rather....

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Sat, 11-03-2012 - 8:56pm

Keep holding on.  You know it is not in your best interest to respond to his fishing...and it's all about you now...your healing and living the honest life with integrity.  You have taken your power back...please do not ever give it back to him.

Journal it all out...all your feelings...here if you want.  You can make that list here as well, and we'll offer advice and suggestions...if you want help reframing some of your thinking.

If you feel it would be TMI (too much info to put out on a public forum), you can PM me if you'd like...but the collective perspective I think is more helpful.

((hugs))

Clarity


Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Sun, 11-04-2012 - 11:48am

"We only miss what could have been. I know I don’t miss what really was."

I absolutely LOVE this!

Nightangel