leaving the love of my life

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2004
leaving the love of my life
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 5:09am
I just have to share this with someone!

I have known the most wonderful man in the whole world, and had to let him go. That was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but we both couldn’t do anything else. He, because he had to choose for his conscience and his wife, and I, because out of love for him I simply had to respect his desicion.

Our love was like a whirlwind. We are both married but when we met, we immediately knew that this was IT. A wonderful, incredible connection between us, a magnetic attraction, a feeling of finally coming home. We both thought aloud about a relationship together. How wonderful it would be to travel the world, to love each other to the stars and back. It was beautiful, pure.

We both didn’t want to leave our spouses but we still considered having an affair. But before we could act upon it he told me he couldn’t bear to cheat on his wife. He still cared about her despite all their problems.

That moment was gut-wrenching. The floor gave way beneath me, my breathing stopped. I was powerless; how can I come between a man and his conscience? I had to tell him I would respect and accept his choice. And I held him in my arms for the last time while the world was crying but I was not. Apart from a single tear I remained strong for him, and I let him go.

But we both know that he was and is the love of my life. I will always love him. If he were to tell me tomorrow that he’s ready for a relationship with me I would welcome him back in my arms immediately. I would leave my life and my marriage to go on with him, not a second of doubt.

But now, here, is the cold reality. After having cried my heart out I have to be strong to go on with my husband, whom I love despite everything. I don’t want to hurt him, won’t tell him anything, and I will dedicate all my efforts in saving our marriage.

But you know, it’s so strange. By choosing for his wife I only respect him more, love him more!