The Left Brain/Right Brain conversation

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2011
The Left Brain/Right Brain conversation
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 6:37pm

The left brain to the right brain:

Why do do you continue to let him be the judge of your self worth? you know better than that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2010
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 7:11pm
OMG honey...hugs to you. No, he doesn't love you. He's abusive, hurtful and disrespects you. Does not even care about your welfare..a complete stranger wouldn't have just dumped you in the hospital like that.

Why do you do it? Because you believe that the scraps he throws you define your self worth, validate you but they don't..they only increase your insecurities and make new ones.
Be strong, be your best friend and don't allow him to do this anymore.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 7:12pm
It.doesn't matter how he feels about you. Your worth has nothing that.

What does matter is how this A makes you feel.

Sounds like it makes you feel pretty bad. The pain in your post is palpable.

You will never get what you need from him.

I had to learn that the hard way.

Let him go. You *can* do it. And I promise you, the pain *will* subside.

But you have to walk away first.

It sounds to me like you are ready and you are done.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 10:22pm
I hear so much pain in your post and I am truly sorry you are hurting. I took my first (yep, I had more than one) exAP back so many times no matter what his trifling aZZ did to me. He was a sorry SOB, but I made believe in my head he was something else. He treated me like total crap and I would still take the scraps. It was bad, just all bad.

I am going to hope that you let him go. He has just broken you down so bad, you think that there is no one for you but him. You deserve better. You really do and I know you may think this guy cares about you. He doesn't. I hope you end this madness and get this yourself together. We will support you when you end this. Please do. We will be here for ya like you never know someone you never knew would. Let us know...
and yes, we can all relate to your posts

OUr beloved former CL used to file like your going a little coo coo and that was because A's make us that way. It is so true. They are so damaging. But you can heal and you can be happy and it will only begin when you get him out of your life.
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 11:03pm

Hey lapoflux

Welcome to EAS

Everything you write is very familiar to folks here...and all addicts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2009
Fri, 04-20-2012 - 1:54am

Hi Lap

This would be the last place someone would past judgment on you - its a safe place to come with your feelings. Everyone here knows exactly what you are going through, and your post brings back the most haunting memories of where I was last year.

I feel for you, and feel your pain, and if I could I would take it away in an instant. But I

Every recovery is a kind of rebirth
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2011
Fri, 04-20-2012 - 8:39am

Thank you everyone, after writing down all the things that were going through my mind I was afraid to hit "post" because I knew what an idiot I had been and I was afraid of the responses that I would get.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2011
Fri, 04-20-2012 - 12:33pm

We will help you. And you are no idiot my love. And yes taking care of yourself is the best thing that you can do right now. You are worth it and you ARE enough.

We are glad you are here.

Yellow xx

"Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves." ~Henry David Thoreau~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2009
Fri, 04-20-2012 - 3:46pm
Lap, we are here to help you, lean on us when things are rough and share the new feelings of freedom I guarantee you will be feeling within a few weeks.

Sometimes I feel so happy out of my A - that the feeling of being happy is a completely new feeling - just shows the A was a false form for happiness, because real happiness it looking into your children's eyes and knowing your finally present in their life's. It brings tears to my eyes just watching them play - I missed so many moments, kisses and hugs because I was so removed from my own life and own needs.

It's time to focus on you, care for you and be you. Your emotionally exhausted so look after yourself sweety. I feel really positive about you, i know you can do this, and want the best for you. Free yourself from the lies and deceit and find the true feeling of happiness.

Keep in touch with how your going

Every recovery is a kind of rebirth
Avatar for happyasme
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2012
Fri, 04-20-2012 - 5:29pm


I am so proud of you for taking your life back and your first day of NC!

You mentionned the emotional drainage was unfair to your kids.