Let the hard work begin....
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Let the hard work begin....
| Tue, 01-18-2011 - 3:37pm |
I recently shared that last week my H saw texts from AP.
| Tue, 01-18-2011 - 3:37pm |
I recently shared that last week my H saw texts from AP.
(((sunrise)))
well as you well know i would never wish a dday on ANYONE.
If H is really seriously looking at MC that is good.
New Choices, New Chapter,
New Challenges,
Hey Sunsrise- First, I have a question.
Ok, more to add.
Are you really committed to No Contact?
But he was also used by you.
I am reluctantly posting because I'm not sure of your intents. You were here not too long ago singing a similar song - and yet - you still have had contact and even fished to see if there was any chance left - That's what your attempt at telling him your H was leaving was - fishing.
I'm going to call the BS card up front. Ending is NOT the hardest part. You need to know that going in. Ending is probably one of the simplest parts - and while it may have hurt - it WILL get much worse.
Because I believe everyone should get the benefit of the doubt - I'll welcome you again. You need to block and walk - delete email accounts or set up filters to move any emails from him to the garbage - block his texts, his number, etc. Delete emails, texts, voicemails, letters - get rid of all of it.
None of us got to be someone who could comment without first being someone who has gone through, walked in and lived YOUR exact situation. You need to prepare - arm yourself if you will. Read, read some more, and then read some more.
Yes it's good that you recognize you have been selfish - but you are still in fog - and it may be a bit before you see the whole of what you have done.
Choose to love yourself enough to be real this time.
Hi Sunrise,
The only way you can commit to your M and start true work is to be honest with yourself.
Sunrise,
I caught a whiff of the desperation BS--a last hope that it all meant something. That's exactly what your "last" text to AP was all about. I am concerned that you referred to him as "AP" rather than "xAP." Did you notice that?
Lolly is right. Ending is the easy part. Painful as hell, but easy in comparison to the hard work ahead that requires you to dig into your soul and find out why you needed an A to fill voids within yourself. I was scared to death of what I would discover. I will tell you, Sunrise. It has been the best thing I"ve ever done for myself. Yes, it was scary to start T, but I can promise you, if you find a good T, he/she will help you make amazing discoveries. You fear will leave and you'll be filled with a sense of hope that you've probably not felt in a very long time.
Let your M sit on the back burner for a while. This time ahead is all about YOU and fixing YOU. Be kind to your H, but don't worry about fixing your M right now. You are not healthy enough to deal with that. Trust me, because I've BTDT. I've been in IC for two months and am just getting to the point where we're ready to do some MC. It's rough work ahead of you, all around. But seriously?? What are your alternatives, Sunrise?
Get busy.
The hard part *Is* just starting, so get thy butt into T, learn about yourself and your motivations for your past behavior, and put repairing the M on the back burner for now but be kind to your H as you begin your healing. What you put out into the universe will come back to you, so being kind, sincere, and trustworthy are good foundations on which to build upon.
((Hugs))