Let Me Intorduce Myself

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Let Me Intorduce Myself
1
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 3:29pm

Greetins Everyone,

I have finally decided to migrate over to this board. Briefly: I met a man through email while doing some work-related research. We emailed for over a year, during which he failed to mention being married. We became friends this way and flirted and sent photos, etc. I met him in person this past fall (he lives 1000 miles away which is why it took us so long to meet). We ended up in bed together and I completely freaked out the next day, seeing him the following evening but nothing happening. I could not believe that I had done what I had previously unthinkable.

I continued to email with him and somehow came to feel that it was OK after awhile and that what we were doing wasn't so bad so we continued to flirt via email. This went on for about a month and, during that time, I started to post on the A support board. Well, at the same time I started lurking on the BS support board. Then reality set in again and I just couldn't be a part of the A anymore and I told him this but we agreed to remain friends. The tone of our contact has been that since.

However, I have yet to have NC with him and I really feel like NC is the only honorable thing to do. I am not in love with him and I don't want to be with him in any serious way and yet I have not just stopped the contact. I really don't know why - maybe I am too close to the situation to see the reason. Part of me thinks that it is not a big deal if we are friends as long as that is all we are. If we had ever been in love I might feel differently about it but I also see the point that many BS have made on All Sides about how his wife would feel about him still being in contact with me (if she knew about us at all, that is).

BTW - I am single, never married. I just wanted to post here to get any advice that people might have for me so that I can finally just end contact with this man.

Thanks for reading and I look forward to getting to "know" some of you (though I recognize some names from All Sides).

Jules

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 9:38pm

AJ

Most people that have a hard time with NC seem to fail to address what it is there getting grom the contact, (what's the pay off for them), determining what that is and meeting the need/want in some other way could help you go total no contact.

I agree with the people at ASB, YOU are his wifes worst enemy how can he hope to be a real husband to her while he has a ongoing friendly relationship with you, that is totaly disrespectful to her BY BOTH OF YOU.

NO CONTACT is a decision just like everything else you do in life make that decision and then take the steps to enforce total no contact.

JMHO

Free