Let's try this again !!! :)
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| Tue, 01-25-2011 - 10:22am |
Hello everyone,
Let's try this again. Lots of contention yesterday and let's try to put that to rest:
First off, I thank everyone for responding yesterday and taking the time to try and help me.
Secondly, I apologize if I responded poorly to some because I certainly felt somewhat attacked and I think misunderstood on some points. But I didn't mean to attack anyone personally and I apologize. Sometimes you feel backed in a corner and dont know any other way to repsond.
I am committed to ending this. I dont want to lie, cheat or hide anymore. SO I guess the only way to do that is walk. One poster (whoever it was thank you) said that NC SEEMS cruel. But it really isnt. It allows both parties to move on to a better place. NC is just a necessary evil I suppose.
It appears most of us have in common that we want end our A and agree it's wrong. This is my one and ONLY A and have no plans for any others. Some of the folks at MAS have had multiple and thats just not for me.
To clarify one thing, while I did C her this weekend, it usually HER that contacts me. I have been LC for a year. I know any contact is wrong but I want to make it clear that I rarely if ever initiate. C. What I said about being "adult" is I have tried to talk to my AP (in the past) that let's end this as adults and agree that it's not working. Many married people do that and get divorced upon mutual agreement. I realize howver that is probably rare.
I have made friends before at MAS and responded to people privately so I am not dumb to the process or board. I am open to feedback and DO realize that it is MY responsibility in this. I really do. I have not ended it so it is my problem. I hope I can learn some things from you folks and complete this painful process. I would like to respond personally to some of the late posts from yest so please bear with me and respond if you care to.
I just want to clear my head and cleanse my soul and be the best person, H I can be. I hope I'm almost there. Thanks for listening.

((HUGS DM))
and Welcome.
I don't want to press on you any further today as I just want to keep you here long enough to get a little more clarity ... cuz sometimes people go a running and don't come back. THIS post indeed says a lot more about who you are as a person (:
The only thing I want to keep bringing you back to - the one point we are all trying to help you understand - is that ANY contact from you SPELLS OUT BIG THINGS TO HER. See, in the absence of continuing contact, those little MOMENTS come to mean waaaaayyyy more than YOU (or I) actually wanted. We live affairs ALL in our head ... so those little moments of contact were all that was needed to keep her fantasy alive. See what I am saying. So, this past weekend, when YOU broke NC, but came here to complain about her ... it was this disjuncture - this disconnect between what you were saying you wanted, and WHAT YOU HAD DONE, that was the issue.
Anyway,
Deep breath. It is going to be painful at times, BUT WE PROMISE you, it will be so worth it.
TU.
I am so glad you came back.
DM,
I'm glad to see you back here.
DM,
I woke up at 4am this morning thinking about your thread from yesterday. I tried to post about it this morning but was overwhelmed.
Garfy,
Your other post was exceptional! I will respond shortly.
Hey DM- Go you mate!!!! Well done!
Yep NC sucks big hairy ones- but it makes you get your life back and also helps your exAP get her/his life back.