A light went on...
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A light went on...
| Sun, 12-13-2009 - 11:14am |
Good morning...
This is for those of you who are in that dark, sad place and feel like you'll never get your head above water again. A light went on yesterday for me and I thought maybe sharing would help somebody...
I had a bad week last week...on the verge of tears almost constantly. I think I cried

I absolutely hear you, 100%!
I decided last week to end my A of 3 years. He hasn't figured it out yet, but he will.
You are absolutely spot on when you ask what we've actually lost...well, we've lost the misery of wondering if he'll call, wondering if we'll get a two line email, the anguish of feeling rejected yet again because we know we're his dirty little secret, the feeling of pathetic gratitude at the crumbs he deigns to toss our way...I could go on.
I bet that like me, all of you are smart, sexy, attractive, productive, kind, loving, affectionate, compassionate, intelligent women who have been absolutely blindsided by the confusion of WHY we have stayed, knowing how miserable the A was making us feel.
I've dug deep, really deep, for the answers to this one. I still don't have them, but I'm getting the idea that this is a mix of addiction and some sort of payoff for remaining in this mess.
I plan on sticking around here as I know the next wee while is going to be tough - but no tougher than actually being IN the A...just different. Someone else wrote that on here - not sure who - and I thank her for that. That was my lightbulb moment.
The misery of leaving is probably less than the anguish of staying in it.
Thanks for letting me vent :-)
UTBN,
>>the only thing I really lost five weeks ago is painful, constant
~Iddy~
Hi usedtobenormal,
I absolutely loved your post! Thanks for writing it down, you are so right in all that you're saying! I copied your post and put it in my special folder in my email box.
thanks
hugs
htgo
Hey All,
What a wonderful post and ooooh soooo true.