A little bit of a limbo . . .
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A little bit of a limbo . . .
| Sun, 01-23-2011 - 5:42am |
So I want to preface this by saying the usual "my A is a little different from most".
| Sun, 01-23-2011 - 5:42am |
So I want to preface this by saying the usual "my A is a little different from most".
So now your thinking...who is she? What does she know? Please do not take any of this personally...I don't know you. But I know what it's like to walk in your shoes. This is an endings board. We would love to have you join us. But you must end your A. Friendships after A's do not work. That's the price we pay. Along with countless others.
You are minimizing your A because of time and distance. You need to accept that your time and distance does not really matter, you speak all week, see one another enough and are completely wrapped in one anothers lives despite time and distance. Why do you think it's ok to keep him in your life in Amy regard? How could he truly work on his M with you in the background? How could you have ever worked on yours? (please know that I too understand abuse, I only ask that question to illustrate a point).
N yes, this ain't MAS. We are quite different, we have an amazing group of men and women here. This is the best place one could be if they really want to end an A and get support doing so. Real talk. Real friendship. Real care. We do not coddle. We hold ourselves accountable for our actions and we try to figure out what got us in A's, so we stay out of em and focus on self healing. I hope you join us.
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Ivy,
I think it will be easier for you to end this A once you realize that what you have is an unhealthy co-dependent relationship, _not_ an intense best-friend relationship.
Well, Ivy, I'd like to welcome you to endings but first you have to END it. The limbo you are in is self created therefore it can be self resolved. Ever read Shirley Glass's "Not Just Friends?" You may want to go to the book store and browse through it.
I should absolutely have no contact.
Keep reading and absorbing what you are reading. I am sorry to hear of your divorce and know how hard it can be, this can be a new beginning of sorts for you though, leaving an abusive relationship with your H as well as a toxic relationship with your ap. You can do the work to become healthier for yourself and open your mind to new possibilities that see what is best for you and leave all the toxic mess behind you. I created alot of toxic in my life and this is the first time in my adult life that I am learning to live for myself and learning about who I am and how I got to where I ended up. Ivy the responses you received were very good and it is these wonderful posters that helped me through the fog. Take care Ivy :)
I know I don't contact my friend anymore but I struggle with not responding when he emails me. I don't ever call him back though.
I understand where you are coming from :)
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida