living a lie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2004
living a lie
1
Fri, 04-16-2004 - 12:57pm
I feel better today. I saw him from a far and he was watching me I could barely breath. I really feel strong emotions for him. I love him. I know ysterday I text mess him, today I don't have the need to. I know he has move on. It hurts me. I was reading on the board from someone I can't remember who and she was saying about how her feelings were hurt because her MM would'nt leave his W for her and the waiting and lies. I felt horrible yesterday becuase I hurt him not intentionally but I did. I told him to wait and I could not get the nerve to leave my husband. I went on the Websit joy2meu and dipps your right it does go back to our inner child. My parents divorce when I was 17 but my mom and moved in with a friend of mine who was 19. As friends know. I was devestated and so was everybody . I fear I would cause this pain to my kids. The reality is that I'm leaving husband not my kids. .

I miss this man terrible and I know I'm running on emotions know but I don't want to stay in my marriage. I have lived a lie for the longest I'm tired know.

your friend Y

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
In reply to: baccarat35
Fri, 04-16-2004 - 4:22pm
Yes, Y, it gets very exhausting to live a lie. And you do deserve more than that. If you're not happy in your marriage, that's an entirely separate decision. You need to get some resolution with those feelings before you even think about the OM. I'm glad to see that you're taking some steps toward exploring that issue, even if it means ending the marriage. More will be revealed...

Yes, its so hard when we see them and miss them so badly. Good for you for not responding or calling or texting or having any contact with him. It's difficult, but it will be worth it in the long run. Come to terms with how you feel about your marriage first.

I guess Dharma's got everyone on that website, huh? Best wishes, Y, and have a great weekend!

mo 7-18-10