Love yourself!
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| Sat, 05-22-2010 - 1:16pm |
Today, I had this overwhelming feeling that the one gift xAP gave me (of several) is to love myself.
I am thankful I am no longer involved with this man. I look back and cannot believe what I put myself through. The agony, the lonely nights, the crying, the self pity, the misery... I felt like I was in this dark hole and I kept sinking and I couldn't crawl back up. I loved him too much. He was my oxygen tank.
I remember the night he texted me that his wife was going into labor. I remember the anxiety attack I had, the crying, the yelling...the driving aimlessly trying to make sense of it all. Trying to love a man but knowing how wrong it was, how sinful and evil I am. Dealing with all these emotions...
My point is... I came to realize now how to love myself. I look back on those cold days and can't imagine why I thought back then that there was no light at the end of the tunnel? How was I so blind to see that there is LIFE after xAP? I mean..sure I'm sad, lonely now too BUT no more of that anxiety when you know someone is lying to you.
How someone can stay in a bad (toxic) relationship is beyond me now. BTDT. I came out stronger and wiser. It's like that song "Fighter" by Christina Aguilara (my theme song! hehe).
Ladies... REALLY realize that YOU are the gem. YOU are the prize. LOVE yourself.
I read this book (and watched the movie) both VERY good...its called, "He's Just Not That Into You". So true! From this day forward, let's stop obsessing and making excuses for these men... a man that loves you will move mountains to be with you.
Also, one poster posted a thread wondering if NC actually works. YES it does work! Trust me. Silence is golden. Think about it this way...when someone ignores you, how does it make you feel? Well thats the same way for them. These men need their ego's stroked and by NC its driving them crazy.
Keep it up. LOVE YOURSELF. Never take anything less than what you deserve.
NC since Dec. 9th 2009
No Contact = No New Hurts
Silence is Golden; Silence is Dignified; Silence speaks volumes.
Remember: Out of sight, out of mind.

Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Dear Lost,
Thank you for your post - I agree, learning to love myself has been one of the most incredible parts of this ending process. I had to ask myself some tough questions about what I thought loving myself meant. I think my A brain thought that having an A was loving myself ahead of all others - that was such a selfish manifestation of 'loving' myself. I know now that had nothing to do with loving myself and everything to do with sabotaging my life, and self-loathing.
Now loving myself means staying connected to the people and places in my life that bring me pure comfort and joy. And loving myself means working hard to stay connected, and not taking the easy way out of my life. In the end I only robbed myself (and my H & kids). I had to ask myself why I had come to love myself so little that I continued to perpetuate the very situation that was profoundly hurting me. I am still working out the answers ...
((hugs))
TU.
"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
Hi Lost :)
You are a positive person bec even how murky our A was, you found a diamond out of it ... loving ourselves.
((ILostagain))
Just wanted to give you a BIG (HUG)) and thank you for your post. It's a very hard pill to swallow when we once realize that we were not loving ourselves at all when we dumped our dignity and integrity to have an A. Not making excuses for us, but I think most will admit they weren't in a very good place when they volunteered to behave so out of character. I say "Out of character" because I have come to
~Iddy~
Great post. So right on.
Hugs,
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/