Lunch with xAP, he needed confirmation

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Lunch with xAP, he needed confirmation
8
Fri, 08-21-2009 - 6:30pm

I had lunch with xAP today. Since he ended things we’ve remained good friends, we’re neighbors and work at the same company, our families hang out etc.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2009
Fri, 08-21-2009 - 7:22pm

>> I still wish that he would make a move and that we could do the things that we used to do

>> This is where my addicted brain started filling in what I was hoping he was going to say … that he was hoping it was me calling him.

Sounds like you're still pretty fogged in, good thing you never got physical with him. Just be grateful that you have not had a D-day, yet.

Sorry but I really don't know what you were trying to share, here. Maybe better on AAS? A lot of ladies here are going through the pain of recently ending an affair and don't really need to read stuff like that.

trixie



"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.”
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Fri, 08-21-2009 - 10:05pm

Is this affair over now?


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Sat, 08-22-2009 - 9:13am

Let's get back to Affairs 101 class.


You like how your AP makes you feel.

Onward and upward.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Sat, 08-22-2009 - 5:00pm

ffkids,


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2008
Sat, 08-22-2009 - 5:44pm

Hi FFK,


I'm not sure if this is your first time posting here or not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Sat, 08-22-2009 - 6:47pm

ffkids,


just another thought here...


But first I second everything amy said. She's spot on, good solid advice.


Instead of seeing your xAP as this nice wonderful neighbor who you still have feelings for, maybe try to see through your fantasy feelings and see him for the cake eater he was. That's rough, but it is the truth, right? He used you (and vice versa) for ego stroking, feel goods and emotional support. Back off and look at it from his wife's point of view, from his family's point of view. What would they see? What would your husband see?


amy is right, you are stuck, still on the merry go round, by allowing yourself to continue thinking about him and the affair. I know it is hard, we have all been there. For you and the others that had the misfortune to have an EA or PA with a neighbor is especially tough. YOu will have to find ways to stay away from social situations that include him and most likely his wife too. Any news, any contact about him, will only hurt you as this goes on. You have to say no to not only xAP, but to yourself. If you find yourself wallowing in what was, stop and think about what could have happened (a D Day).


Are you mad at him at all, just curious. Mad at yourself? I read your post, but it was hours ago, sorry. ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Mon, 08-24-2009 - 12:04pm

Thanks for the tough love everyone. I think that's why I posted...because I wanted to get a few virtual slaps.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Tue, 08-25-2009 - 9:17am

I hope that reading here will allow you to see the trees as well as the forest. you are still in your A.


look at your headline: HE needed confirmation. so what? HE tittallated you.

CL-Lovely Starr

"No memory of having starred; atones for later disregard; or keeps the end from being h