lurker.. needing advice ..reassurance

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
lurker.. needing advice ..reassurance
4
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 9:22am
been with MM for a few mths now..im maried as well.. he and i started as friends.. talked daily .. hes like my best friend.. we met ..hit it off ...got physical two times.. one was couple weeks ago.. he struggled with guilt.. and thats what we were workin on when his wife found a txt msg from me that he forgot to delete...so now its i have to go work on my life get this situation under control here... we cant talk cant IM cant txt no e mails.. when life calms down ill be back in touch with u .. i need time to fix this....
so.... is that gonna happen??? is he gonna get back in touch with me? will i ever see him again..im so lost right now.. for mths. hes been a part of my daily life and now cut off just like that..hes online I cant IM him .. i cant call him.. it hurts.. and i know hes hurting and this just sucks... any one with any suggestions?? any one think he will be back?? thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 10:29am

i dont know if MM will come back to u or if he will ever contact u but u have to take care of yourself, u said u are married, u need to find out why u needed to have an EMA, we all have our reasons for having an affair but in the end we will end up hurting not only ourselves but others also

find out why u are in this affair, is this something wrong with your marriage or H, try to look into that

u are addicted to him from all the attention u get from MM, i know its hard to think right now and u feel that all is lost, but its all in your heart, try to protect it

welcome to the board

max

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 12:34pm

"Any suggestions" you ask.


Yes, I do. Send the same text message to your first friend (your husband) that you want to send to xMM. If you can't do that, ask yourself why you are wasting your time in a marriage that doesn't fill you with a zeal for life. Fix the marriage or end it and get on with living an open life that you don't have to look over your shoulder or worry who read what on your pager or phone.


Life's too short to have to fill it with deceit. That inclues lying to yourself. If current husband isn't worth your honesty and you've told him that to his face and he still won't work on your message, then pay attention and get out and quit wasting your time. Whatever temporary grief you have going through a divorce is minimal compared to a life of affairs and lying to yourself and family.


BTDT.


It ain't worth it.


Those are my suggestions.


Good luck,


cl-nre


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 04-16-2005 - 8:45pm
He might contact you again and he might not. Once my MM's wife just saw my IM name and she was questioning him about it for awhile. We had no contact for a little awhile after that. Then we just kept it to his contacting me only from work or in his car. But you know what? All these times he's 'come back' to me, in the past four years and was any of it worth it??? NO. It was not. It was more trouble than it was worth. It wasn't worth the wait. It wasn't worth the "sneaking" of phonecalls or emails..and sometimes seeing one another (Not often because he's six hours away). But in the end I wish it had never happened. The only good thing to come of it- was that it made me refocus and see how wonderful my marriage can be/and how wonderful the man I married, is. Use this as a sign that you need to work on figuring out what you want with your own marriage. Because how worth it is it for you? Is it worth worrying that someone will find out you're text messaging him? And what if someday his wife finds out WHO you are and she tells YOUR husband? Just too many scary possibilities..really think about them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Mon, 04-18-2005 - 7:17am
thanks your all right.. but it doesnt make it hurt any less.... deffinatly an addiction of some sort... i need to figure out why