Lyssa30

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Lyssa30
3
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 1:36am
I'll be honest with you. I haven't read your posts. As a way of protecting myself I come and go. I've been feeling strong and am here more when I feel that way. I feel you are hurting terribly and have avoided reading. Since the day I was born I have been overly sensitive and absorb other peoples pain like a huge sponge.

So, I'm here now and am reaching out to you. Spongeblond is ready and willing! I only ask you for one thing. Either before or after you reply would you go and reply to my post asking for the positive stuff you have gained from your A?

I can tell you that sending his stuff to him right now is not a good idea. You know that already though! You are angry and writing a letter is a good idea! Just don't send it! Wait for at least a safe cool down period! Re-read it!

I'm different from many here! I believe we each need to do things our own way. But, our way needs to be tempered with diplomacy! NC is great and works! Isn't always viable!

There are as many ways to heal from an affair as there are rivers flowing to the sea!

Hit me with your best shot and I'll hit you with mine! Deal?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: sweeterblond43
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 9:14am
I posted to your discussion asking for the positive stuff. It was hard for me to answer and I thought about it for a few days first. I appreciate you reaching out to me and I have to say that thinking about the positive stuff for the past couple of days has helped me a bit. I guess I am having a hard time accepting that it is over. I am having a hard time dealing with the hurt of giving so much of myself to someone and then being "discarded" so quickly. It hurts no matter that I know he needed to go home and work out his issues with his W and that the choices he made are his and that the relationship was not a healthy one to begin with. I still invested a big piece of myself into it and my heart is broken. So I hit rock bottom emotionally this week and then just sat here numb. I have decided that my life is more important than whatever is goin gon in his life and that I am not going to get any answers and wasting my energy on these thought is not helping myself any at all. I deserve to be happy too and I am the only one who can make the changes needed to better my life. You are a kind, caring, person and I appreciate your kindness and your help. Take care and read my other post to your question. Thanks, Lyssa
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: sweeterblond43
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 12:46pm
Hi Lyssa, I read your reply about the positive stuff! Great! I've been very impressed with everyones replies. I learned all of the same things you did and all the others here too! I know the pain you speak of all too well! I, like you was discarded. Only difference being my Xom did it to pursue another MW. I've never been so treated like trash in my life! I thank God for it now! But, at the time I was completely devastated and more angry then I've ever been in my life! I now completely understand the legal term "temporary insanity"! It's a good thing he lives an hour and a half away from me! It does get better! Every day it gets better! There's ups and downs but the downs slowly diminish and the ups take over! Now, although I will always love this man, I wouldn't touch him with a mile long pole even if he begged! So, keep the positive stuff going! It works! It gives you a power that is unbelievable! Stop and smell the flowers! Sounds so cliche but the simple little things like that are the most amazing ones! Hang tough! I have some awesome friends I've made from this board and I've seen them all go thru lots! But, you know what? Each one of us grows more amazingly powerful everyday! Better, more genuine, more focused on the real stuff life has to offer! You're well on your way! Fly like the wind!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: sweeterblond43
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 9:21pm
PLease read my question to the board about moving forward - i would appreciate your input. The W is 15 years older than me and I am very intimidated by encounters with her. I am a very non-confrontational person. I would like just to move forward in peace and without her bothering me. I saw her driving up my street the other day. She creeps me out.