This man is unbelievable...
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This man is unbelievable...
| Sun, 12-20-2009 - 7:13pm |
My xAP called me Blocked 3 times last night. He called me at 9:29pm (when he's on his way to work), at 11:42pm and at 1:19am.

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Yep WC, a one minute game.
Hi SB!
How are things going with you?
Hi Caribu. Thanks for asking about me, you have made my day.
Im doing OK. My MM is with his W and playing happy family. He has messaged me a few times and i have responded short and nice. I hold no grudge as he did what he has to do. I am not strictly NC which is why i dont really post here.
Although i dont initiate contact and i do respond nice and friend like, the situation isnt going to be any easier by throwing him out of my life and trying to forget him. I do know a future is no longer possible with him, but as he never made any promises and we never had IC, I still care for him and know that if situations were reversed, i would do exactly what he did too. Doesnt make him a bad man to follow his own conscience. He may have enjoyed the ego strokes, but he never made things more than they were, only i did in my head (saying that maybe he will leave her and all that fantasy stuff)
I look over my past dealings and i certainly realize i did have a skewed view because i wanted to see the positive outcome of a goal i had- and that was to be with him. Obstacles that then looked like a minor hinderance, now when unbiased, are huge endless ravines that like Mt Everest arent impossible to overcome, the odds were very unlikely. He is still a good man to me but I know that if he were the ONE for me, he would be with me. Whatever the obstacles.
BTW, i cant seem to cut the tie on FB friends but i did try to hide his posts. I deleted him then readded saying i was hiding his post and deleted by mistake (lie) He posted about anniversary and i think he knew because as soon as he readded, he deleted that post even with the many congrats from friends. I dont like the term cyber stalk, but i admit to going and seeing his family pics. It doesnt hurt much anymore - it actually reinforces the thoughts that he is where he wants to be and no amount of wishing and hoping will change that. I have to just make that final break.
The day i do, i will be here in full force behind all the great gals (and guys) and help others, but until then, i try to remain unhypocritical and only come here to lurk.
Take care, Merry Christmas and lots of (((hugs)))
SB.
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