Manipulation???

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Manipulation???
1
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 6:11pm
Hello all. Well, today is my 18th wedding anniversary, and I'm glad to say that H and I actually went out for dinner to celebrate it Saturday night. We had a wonderful time, but that same incredible magnetism that I felt for OMM wasn't there. Eventually, I just couldn't help wondering what it would have been like to have been married to OMM for 18 years, or even 1 year. So here's what I get for even pondering that thought:

Sunday morning I noticed 2 text messages on my cell phone from OMM; they came in at 1:30 a.m. and 2:30 a.m. He was participating in a sports tournament over the weekend and just HAD to share with me that 1) he was having a "wicked" time with 8 of his teammates at some hotel, and 2) he got in a fight with another competitor at about 2:00 a.m. Does this sound like anything anyone would do if they hadn't been drinking quite a bit????????? And here's where the guilt part comes in. OMM recently got involved in recovery from alcoholism; he had about 4 months sober (I've been in recovery for 18 months). Is there any legitimate reason to send me these crazy messages in the middle of the night, especially since we're broken up, if he isn't drunk????? I can't imagine it if there is, even if going out with your teammates and acting like a complete high-testosterone jerk IS a "guy thing." So, I guess if the OMM is drinking again, he would probably blame me for the relapse, because I broke his heart. I can't help but feel this was manipulative, and an attempt to "show me" what I did to him. Both of his text messages ended with "I'm sure you're doing fine."

So part of me is very thankful that I never did decide to end my marriage to marry the OMM because I don't think he's over thinking that its "cool" to act like a high school "jock" or maybe he fantasizes he's a professional "player." Whatever. I just needed to get that off my chest; thanks for listening.

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 9:32am
Good Morning :o) And btw thanks for replying to me yesterday. This is just my opinion of course but I can read his actions a couple ways. He may not have been drunk but was missing you and used any reason he could to message you. Not that I have ever done that with MM...lol OR if he was drunk...as a recovering alcoholic yourself you know that NOONE is responsible for his relapse but him and him alone! If he was drunk it was his decision to drink...whether cause he was celebrating, upset, or just because he was not truly ready to give up the alcohol. Sorry I couldnt be of much help just wanted to let you know I too was 'listening' to you. And congrats on 18 months sober!! Keep up the good work..I know it is not easy and you should be very proud of your accomplishment! (((hugs)))