Married 6 years and messed up!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Married 6 years and messed up!
12
Fri, 11-05-2004 - 6:30pm
I was away on business and drank too much. The next thing I know I'm kissing a stranger and allowing him in my room. Some things happened, but his clothes remained on the whole time. I love my husband deeply and don't understand how I let this happen. But if I tell him I KNOW that my marriage will be over. So what do I do? keep it to myself? learn from it and move on? tell him? I know this will never happen again, I can never feel this way again. PLEASE - what do I do?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Wed, 11-10-2004 - 7:53pm
Silly

No offense taken or intended

I am the sober alcoholic, have been for almost 19 years, the booze did not make me someone I was not it just allowed me to be who I really was, the things I did when tanked up were always there on the inside they did not spring from the bottle or the thin air, alcohol creates nothing it just unleashes it.

One fact about human beings is that for everything we do there is a reason, if were not getting something from it we will not do it. Anna had a reason for what she did, it could be something as simple as needing to feel desired may be its nothing to worry about maybe it is a symptom of a problem that needs to be cut off before it really does damage, the only people qualified to help her answer that question is a professional.

As whether one needs or does not need a therapist maybe the person to ask would be a therapist.

JMHO

Free

PS: Silly to me this is just a discussion nothing that should cause hard feelings.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 12:46pm
Mefree,

I have no hard feelings at all. But I do disagree with you. I understand that when you drank you were unleashing your own inner feelings. But not everyone who drinks and does stupid things is unleashing inner feelings. I could give you too many examples to list right now of people who did dumb things that they had absolutely no clue why they did them other than the alcohol. I guess I must admit, I'm a little surprised that someone who is sober themselves cannot see that. I guess it must be because you're looking at things from your own perspective. I don't know. But I do know of plenty of examples that suggest otherwise. Since this woman didn't say anything about harboring these desires, I have to think that she didn't have them. Alcohol does unleash amorous feelings in people. I remember one time when I was a young woman, getting drunk and making out with some guy that not only did I have absolutely no feelings for, I thought was downright unattractive. The next day, I was so mortified and afraid that this guy would think I liked him, when I absolutely did NOT. That's just one example. It happens, and it's not always because it's in there already.

JMHO

Silly

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