Married man dilema
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| Thu, 02-24-2005 - 11:27am |
Just over 2 years ago I started having an affair with a married man. Last Nov. he told her he didn't love her. She moved out a month later. We started getting more serious then. We are co-workers and we would talk for hrs at work. So in Nov. things were a little better, he would call me at least 10 times per day. He would text me how he loved me and couldn't wait to see me. Before he and his wife split I tried to leave him so he could make sure he was leaving b/c he didn't love her and that he did love me. He cried and cried and begged me not to go. One night at work she called him, she started saying how she was goin to kill herself. This was the 3rd time she said it. So I got ticked and left. He called my cell 10 times before I finally answered. He told me he couldn't breathe and he was sick to his stomach. He said'please don't ever do that to me again, leave me so mad' So like a fool I went back and I held him while he cried for 20 minutes. He told me many times that he loved me so much. Sometimes I felt like things were overwhelming b/c of his wife and I tried saying we should take a break but he said no way. He said I hurt him every time I said that. He said it was the same as when his wife took their son away from him and threatened to never see him again. So I stayed. Sometimes our conversations were dominated by her, the latest verbal diarrhea she would give him. In Dec. things were better, she didn't call as much. They worked out a schedule for him to see his son. Christmas eve, I worked until 8 and so he came over after. Around 12 b/c he had family stuff going on. Oh did I mention that his parents, who live next door, couldn't know about me. when I went there I would hide my car, he would come pick me up or I would walk to his place at night. So he came over, we exchanged gifts. His gifts to me were ok but he loved his gifts. Made love then went to bed. A great night under the circumstances. Then things were good after, he had his son who I was not allowed to be around, for 3 days. So on those days, we talked on the phone all the time. On new year's eve, we went 4-wheeling. We had a good time. Came back and made love in the shower which was something his wife would never do, I just found that out that night. The next day he had his son so I went home, he was starting with a bad cold too and I had to work. Then the next day when I see him, he's really sick and just different. He says he doesn't think he loves me anymore and that he thinks he misses his wife. He said he didn't know if he missed the routine of it all or her! How could he miss her, he hated her. He used to call her a fat snoring cow. He hated how she walked, did her hair how she talked to him and their son. He had nothing in common with her except their son. He's a very political man. He doesn't like people to know what's going on behind closed doors and he likes to make people think he's happy and has the perfect life. I think he got scared that people didn't think highly of him anymore and wanted to run back to his wife so he looked good to people again. Meanwhile, I don't believe he doesn't love me. I think he mad at me now b/c I lost my temper and told his wife that he cheated on her with 3 other women before me. He told a bunch of people one day that he got married b/c the train was going by and he hopped on. The kid was b/c that was what all their friends were doing. So i know he doesn't sound too great right now, so why do I love him so much and I can't get him out of my system. sorry this was so long, I needed to paint the picture for you. I just saw him drive by. He picks his son up every thurs morning when his wife goes to work. They meet and he takes him for a couple of days. I'm obsessed or something. Is there a pill I can take to help me? Please please all the advice you can give me will help. And tell me how you see it, don't hold back.
