Married People Problems

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2004
Married People Problems
1
Mon, 05-24-2004 - 11:50am
Short Recap - I'm HAPPILY married, He's HAPPILY married, no sex, only conversations, hugs,(and an occasional kiss) no one is leaving their spouse, but everyone's confused. He has children, I don't.

I know there is no justification and I know it is not right. If the situation was reversed, I would have a fit, and so would he.

It feels good! I think I'm addicted to the surge of energy I get from it. I get the same feelings from my husband (most of the time), but I'm like a junkie in search of this incredible feeling and excitement all the time. Has anyone ever experienced this rush!

In addition, I know that there is nothing beyond the "rush" that can come out of this secret friendship. What if the friendship is brought above the board (ie. . .it was no longer a secret)? Would that make a difference? Would that stop the "rush" or would it always be there?



Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Mon, 05-24-2004 - 12:07pm
Well, you definitely hit the nail on the head with the junkie part. This really is like an addiction (I know for sure) and it is one of the greatest feelings. I think it mostly comes from the feeling of fantasy and escape. The relief of not having to live in your own real world problems. And it least in the beginning for me, it all felt pretty innocent. As far as your question, I was friends with MM and everyone knew we were friends. It's just that no one knew the intenseness, the emotional affair part. So yes, the rush would continue because your feelings for him and his for you would still be a secret. But honestly, you are just digging a deeper hole for yourself. It's not a pleasant road. The lows that will definitely come are just not worth it. I would really urge you to get out now while you still can. However, I realize we all have our own journeys to make. Maybe read some other people's posts to see how painful these things can be. Good luck and let us know how things are going!

-real