Mature and responsible - HA!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mature and responsible - HA!
1
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 10:14am
Last week I shared about talking it over with my OM that no contact would be best. This is a 4 month relationship that blindsided me completely and sent my life reeling out of control. He has met another woman who is interested in dating him and after much soul searching I urged him to pursue that relationship. It's just so difficult when you have two people who care so much about the others feelings. He and I made the NC decision on Monday, however he continued to call me throughout the day like he normally would. It would make sense if we were upset with one another and then of course you wouldn't call but when you just enjoy talking to each other, it's so easy to pick up the phone. He worries terribly that by not phoning me, the message he is sending is that he no longer cares for me and that he's moving on. What he wants more than anything is for me to understand that he does love me a great deal. He does not care to be with this other woman but I have left him no other option. We had nice conversations that day and felt the need to meet on Wednesday at lunch and again on Friday to talk over a few more things. We again concluded that no contact would be best. As lame as it sounds we came up with the excuse of "well if I knew that Wednesday was really going to be the last day we ever saw each other...I wouldn't have spend the whole time talking about this and that". LOL I knew that he would be spending the weekend with the other woman so I wished him well and we parted ways. I honestly knew that I would not phone him the entire weekend and I kept busy and found that he really only entered my mind a time over two... just fleeting really. This morning I wondered if I would hear from him but I did not and yet I feel good about that. His 10 oclock break time came and passed and still I did not hear from him.

In my case, it's just very surreal to know that somebody wishes for nothing more than to be with you solely, yet you cannot offer that to them and based on that you had to part.

It sucks being mature and responsible individuals!!




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 2:27pm
Well my OM phoned at lunchtime and left a message. He then phoned a half hour later. We had a nice conversation, he let out a couple of deep sighs indicating that not seeing me was rough on him. Such an emotional soul. At 5 minutes to 1:00 I told him that he better be heading back to work. He stated that he had taken the afternoon off because he was feeling so down about all of this. Man I sit here trying to sort out my own emotions and then I become more troubled by his emotions.

I would like to say that reading the posts here in the "ending an affair" board have assisted me greatly in realizing the only way for me to move on is to end the affair. Obviously I am not willing to end my marriage at this time and to drag somebody else along with me for an infinite amount of time is not fair to anybody.

Thanks