Find a Conversation
|Fri, 08-24-2012 - 9:28am|
In another post today I mentioned the MAY BE’S.
We all know what they are; I define them as what goes through our minds. It’s how we justify our crazy thoughts. That’s what they are. Justifications of CRAZY thoughts.
With so many of our new people going through it, and some of our older posters having a hard time it just comes to my mind that we should discuss it and maybe someone will make eye/mind opening statement that will live in hallowed place.
Another reason I have been thinking about it, I had a bad case yesterday and this week.
This has been an emotional week for me. (Yes, Men have them too.)
It was Wedding Anniversary week, and some of you may wonder why it make any difference to me, but we all have things that we hang onto, that defy reason. Makes no sense. This started me with the MAY BE’S.
Yesterday was another anniversary day for me. One and a half years, 78 weeks of No Contact. I am a tweener, supper-tweener, Vet, SuperVet and everything all rolled into one.
Healed??? No! Indifferent??? No! Still give too much thought??? Yes!
I know I give too much thought to it because I still come here, I still read every post, and I still try to do my best giving my thoughts about fantasy, reality, getting out of the mess that we have put ourselves into.
I have been out long enough that I shouldn’t care anymore. I should be moving on.
“May be” I should be able to do things that others can’t do. The thought continues, “May be” I should test myself.
Yesterday was also HER birthday. Warning, triggers can happen anytime. Even this far into NC. It was a “May be” day.
I’m glad it is over. No, I didn’t. I admit I wanted to. It was tough. I thought it through.
What would happen? Would I really want her back? What if? Was I crazy? Could I get through the day?
Well it’s a new day. The May Be’s are all still lingering. I am not going to be a fool. I am not going to throw away a year and a half. It took me longer than that, to just get started on this period of NC. I am doing this for me. ME!
So the question is, what can we do to get rid of the “MAY BE’S”???