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Maybe this time its working
| Thu, 08-05-2010 - 9:55am |
Well I told him Tuesday night NC....for both our sakes, I wanted it all to end.
| Thu, 08-05-2010 - 9:55am |
Well I told him Tuesday night NC....for both our sakes, I wanted it all to end.
Maybe I missed something here ... I will add a disclaimer that I am feeling a little cranky today: a lack of sleep and emotionally taxed.
"Well I told him Tuesday night NC....for both our sakes, I wanted it all to end. I stayed calm and chocked back every tear I had. He was strangely silent this time....not really fighting me back. he cried ALOT and even got sick, but I think because I was so calm, he knew I meant it this time."
Okay - I was cheering with you here, and rolling my eyes with his 'sick' performance ...
"We texted a few more times after that yesterday, little things that I guess is putting closure to things, but they are just simple one liners and nothing at all today."
WHAT WHAT??? How was this ending it?! They are anything but simple one liners! I am sorry, but this is not demonstrating that you are seriously ending it.
"We have not spoken on the phone though since tuesday. I did ask him, do you swear you are leaving her NOW and not when either of you dies? His response was simply yes. I then said well then maybe oneday you will find me again and he said he knows where I am and he will find me because he will show me hes not been playing me."
Again, I am totally confused by the question you asked him (like, if you are ENDING this A with him, what the heck does this matter?!?) and then your response to him.
You have not initiated the end of this affair. You have left the door WIDE OPEN! These last few sentences will come to haunt you, I worry. Somewhere inside you is going to spend everyday for the rest of your life wondering if he is coming for you or not. By ending with such Hollywood drama crap, you have effectively kept yourself in perpetual limbo land.
"So for now......keeping my head up. Yesterday was horrible. I couldnt even work, so I took the day off to pull my head together. it was his 20th with his W and I was sick thinking about what all i had lost vs what all he had not."
I am so sorry that you are hurting wdw - I know the kinda pain and confusion you are feeling (or I can imagine). But please re-think how you are moving forward. It feels to me that you are stuck in the fantasy,and are totally fogged.
I urge you to read all that you can here. You will see where you went wrong, and hopefully take some steps to protect yourself.
TIME TO BLOCK AND WALK!
TU.
LC/NC since April 14, 2010
"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou