Me again...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Me again...
17
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 9:39am

Good morning dear ladies,



Garfy


NC since 13 September 2010 and trying to feel great...


Fate d

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2010
In reply to: _mom_garfy_
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 10:32am

Welcome back Mom!

I just wanted to say how totally different you sound this time (-:

"I also realize and understand that he is right in wanting more, and not giving him more and depriving him of his RL was very selfish of me. I know I'm really able to let him go this time around. I have this surreal peace and understanding and every time I'm having the urge to fish, I'm reminding myself of this "understanding"."

This is such an important "understanding" to have reached, and it shows that you have been doing some honest reflecting. There is not a hint of animosity directed at him for wanting a full life, and it shows you are coming to turn your care for him, into the kinda care that can let him go. That is really good work Mom.

BUT, more importantly (way more!) is that you are able to see that you no longer want to be a married woman involved in an affair. Living that life has caused you and your marriage great pain, and you now have the resolve to stop the crazy.

I hope that you will stay with us as the emotions start to bubble up to the top and you start to work the many different phases of ending. You have said your good-bye, and now any lingering questions can only be resolved from within.

It sounds like you have a wonderful partner and a real chance at making your marriage work. With time, work and commitment, you'll be toasted to a very different new year than the kind most of us faced last year.

Thanks for recognizing that the good, the bad and the ugly truth we share is well intended and from a place of care.

TU.

LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou

LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
In reply to: _mom_garfy_
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 10:43am

Welcome back, Mom-G. I've been patiently waiting to see you again (didn't know I was psychic, did ya?) ;-) It's great news that you have amicably wrapped up this chapter in your life and can now move forward with the rest of our new enders. Many have come along since you were here last. Perhaps you could spend some time catching up on who the newbies are, and join in on some of their posts with your new found awareness that what is shared here is for their

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
In reply to: _mom_garfy_
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 10:50am

TU, thank you for your kind words and I'm so so sorry for our "fallout" some time ago.

Garfy


NC since 13 September 2010 and trying to feel great...


Fate d

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
In reply to: _mom_garfy_
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 10:57am

Iddy, you are right, I did sit back and read a lot the last couple of months while my A was going downhill.

Garfy


NC since 13 September 2010 and trying to feel great...


Fate d

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2009
In reply to: _mom_garfy_
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 12:12pm

Hi Garfy,



I was not involved in responding to your first post, but I read the entire thread and just wanted to say I'm glad you came back.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
In reply to: _mom_garfy_
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 12:18pm

Thank you CSN.



I'm so glad to be here and so accepting of all of this.

Garfy


NC since 13 September 2010 and trying to feel great...


Fate d

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
In reply to: _mom_garfy_
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 2:47pm

Mom,

So happy to see you back....I really am. So good to see you posting. So good to hear about you and H reconnecting and talking things out. I swear this post was needed. We put a lot of effort into our posts and lately we have been up against a wall, and here you come along and let us know that it was all worth it. Thanks so much for being so honest and complimentary. The board has been a lil tough on us tweeners and vets. I am hoping those that read you post come to see what you have. Its not about being right, its about ending your A and how to do so with as little wreckage as possible and you were able to see it...

And you def sound so different. In a great way. You are on it. Please stay and continue to post. So glad to have you back. Happy you put faith and respect in us.

Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
In reply to: _mom_garfy_
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 3:05pm

Hi Luvin :)



Garfy


NC since 13 September 2010 and trying to feel great...


Fate d

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
In reply to: _mom_garfy_
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 3:25pm

Welcome back Garfy :)

I'm so proud of you! I still recognize certain times of the day that are triggers for me - as you said, it's a habit.

My XAP and I used to talk every morning as soon as I got on the office, so I use that time to go get coffee, run errands, etc.

I posted the other day about having a "choice". You made the right choice by coming back to EAS and by calling hubby today instead of going down the path of destruction. Keep on makin' good choices! :)

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
In reply to: _mom_garfy_
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 3:36pm

Thank you Bodhi.

Garfy


NC since 13 September 2010 and trying to feel great...


Fate d

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