I just wanted to say how totally different you sound this time (-:
"I also realize and understand that he is right in wanting more, and not giving him more and depriving him of his RL was very selfish of me. I know I'm really able to let him go this time around. I have this surreal peace and understanding and every time I'm having the urge to fish, I'm reminding myself of this "understanding"."
This is such an important "understanding" to have reached, and it shows that you have been doing some honest reflecting. There is not a hint of animosity directed at him for wanting a full life, and it shows you are coming to turn your care for him, into the kinda care that can let him go. That is really good work Mom.
BUT, more importantly (way more!) is that you are able to see that you no longer want to be a married woman involved in an affair. Living that life has caused you and your marriage great pain, and you now have the resolve to stop the crazy.
I hope that you will stay with us as the emotions start to bubble up to the top and you start to work the many different phases of ending. You have said your good-bye, and now any lingering questions can only be resolved from within.
It sounds like you have a wonderful partner and a real chance at making your marriage work. With time, work and commitment, you'll be toasted to a very different new year than the kind most of us faced last year.
Thanks for recognizing that the good, the bad and the ugly truth we share is well intended and from a place of care.
TU.
LC/NC since April 14, 2010
"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." — Maya Angelou
Welcome back, Mom-G. I've been patiently waiting to see you again (didn't know I was psychic, did ya?) ;-) It's great news that you have amicably wrapped up this chapter in your life and can now move forward with the rest of our new enders. Many have come along since you were here last. Perhaps you could spend some time catching up on who the newbies are, and join in on some of their posts with your new found awareness that what is shared here is for their
So happy to see you back....I really am. So good to see you posting. So good to hear about you and H reconnecting and talking things out. I swear this post was needed. We put a lot of effort into our posts and lately we have been up against a wall, and here you come along and let us know that it was all worth it. Thanks so much for being so honest and complimentary. The board has been a lil tough on us tweeners and vets. I am hoping those that read you post come to see what you have. Its not about being right, its about ending your A and how to do so with as little wreckage as possible and you were able to see it...
And you def sound so different. In a great way. You are on it. Please stay and continue to post. So glad to have you back. Happy you put faith and respect in us.
I'm so proud of you! I still recognize certain times of the day that are triggers for me - as you said, it's a habit.
My XAP and I used to talk every morning as soon as I got on the office, so I use that time to go get coffee, run errands, etc.
I posted the other day about having a "choice". You made the right choice by coming back to EAS and by calling hubby today instead of going down the path of destruction. Keep on makin' good choices! :)
Pages
Welcome back Mom!
I just wanted to say how totally different you sound this time (-:
"I also realize and understand that he is right in wanting more, and not giving him more and depriving him of his RL was very selfish of me. I know I'm really able to let him go this time around. I have this surreal peace and understanding and every time I'm having the urge to fish, I'm reminding myself of this "understanding"."
This is such an important "understanding" to have reached, and it shows that you have been doing some honest reflecting. There is not a hint of animosity directed at him for wanting a full life, and it shows you are coming to turn your care for him, into the kinda care that can let him go. That is really good work Mom.
BUT, more importantly (way more!) is that you are able to see that you no longer want to be a married woman involved in an affair. Living that life has caused you and your marriage great pain, and you now have the resolve to stop the crazy.
I hope that you will stay with us as the emotions start to bubble up to the top and you start to work the many different phases of ending. You have said your good-bye, and now any lingering questions can only be resolved from within.
It sounds like you have a wonderful partner and a real chance at making your marriage work. With time, work and commitment, you'll be toasted to a very different new year than the kind most of us faced last year.
Thanks for recognizing that the good, the bad and the ugly truth we share is well intended and from a place of care.
TU.
LC/NC since April 14, 2010
"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
Welcome back, Mom-G. I've been patiently waiting to see you again (didn't know I was psychic, did ya?) ;-) It's great news that you have amicably wrapped up this chapter in your life and can now move forward with the rest of our new enders. Many have come along since you were here last. Perhaps you could spend some time catching up on who the newbies are, and join in on some of their posts with your new found awareness that what is shared here is for their
~Iddy~
TU, thank you for your kind words and I'm so so sorry for our "fallout" some time ago.
Garfy
NC since 13 September 2010 and trying to feel great...
Fate d
Iddy, you are right, I did sit back and read a lot the last couple of months while my A was going downhill.
Garfy
NC since 13 September 2010 and trying to feel great...
Fate d
Hi Garfy,
I was not involved in responding to your first post, but I read the entire thread and just wanted to say I'm glad you came back.
<
Thank you CSN.
I'm so glad to be here and so accepting of all of this.
Garfy
NC since 13 September 2010 and trying to feel great...
Fate d
Mom,
So happy to see you back....I really am. So good to see you posting. So good to hear about you and H reconnecting and talking things out. I swear this post was needed. We put a lot of effort into our posts and lately we have been up against a wall, and here you come along and let us know that it was all worth it. Thanks so much for being so honest and complimentary. The board has been a lil tough on us tweeners and vets. I am hoping those that read you post come to see what you have. Its not about being right, its about ending your A and how to do so with as little wreckage as possible and you were able to see it...
And you def sound so different. In a great way. You are on it. Please stay and continue to post. So glad to have you back. Happy you put faith and respect in us.
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Hi Luvin :)
Garfy
NC since 13 September 2010 and trying to feel great...
Fate d
Welcome back Garfy :)
I'm so proud of you! I still recognize certain times of the day that are triggers for me - as you said, it's a habit.
My XAP and I used to talk every morning as soon as I got on the office, so I use that time to go get coffee, run errands, etc.
I posted the other day about having a "choice". You made the right choice by coming back to EAS and by calling hubby today instead of going down the path of destruction. Keep on makin' good choices! :)
Bodhi
Thank you Bodhi.
Garfy
NC since 13 September 2010 and trying to feel great...
Fate d
Pages