melibintx
Find a Conversation
melibintx
| Fri, 10-08-2004 - 4:14pm |
HI M
Long time no post, how are you doing these days ??
Free
| Fri, 10-08-2004 - 4:14pm |
Long time no post, how are you doing these days ??
Free
I am doing great! Thanks for asking. I stopped visiting/posting several months back..I dont know if you remember all the BS that was going on with XMM, but I just got fed up!
I felt like I was drowing..what is/was pathetic was I still wanted to continue the affair. I was doing whatever I could to keep his attention. I just lost all control of my normal self.
It has been over 4 months since XMM ended our affair. The first month or so was hard for me..rejection is never easy..LOL. After that I just stopped. For some unknown reason I didnt care anymore. He didnt cross my mind as much. It was so freeing! I love it.
XMM and I still communicate occasionally (one or two times a month through yahoo). Mostly he asks how I am doing with my health (had another transplant) and life in general. I know what he wants is for me to ask about HIM, but I never do. I just let it be all about ME.
Maybe that sounds selfish to some but it never is about US when we are in the affair. Its always about THEM. What time THEY can spare US. Its all about when WE can be there for THEM.
I visited the boards occasionally to see what I wasnt missing anymore..LOL..and to realize how much pain the affair causes and I just thank him everyday for ending it. Its funny tho, he doesnt accept it..he still talks about us getting together and it being physical again..NO WAY!!!LOL
FREE..I always look for your posts..you have always given great advice and I always look foward to reading this board. It truly has been such a wonderful find for me..
How are you doing?
Smiles
MB
I remember your story very well and your right he did do you a big favor ending it, but I expect he did not realize it at the time.
Isn,t hindsight wonderful, looking back you can just amaze yourself at how blinded you were to the truth about the XMM and the true nature of the relationship.
If there is anyone with a right to be a little selfish it is you, you have gone through your share of crap thats for sure both with your health and XMM and his B/S, it's ok to look after yourself you know , you were always so concerned about everyone else and that was nice but you need to take care of yourself two.
As I have attempted to tell some people affairs more often then not are about the big "ME" not so much about the AP, XMM proved that time and time again, and will go on trying to prove it if allowed to.
What did you have replaced this go around, just have the tires rotated or did they do a tune up to. :-).
All kidding aside how are you doing health wise, you OK , is hubby treating you OK or is he still mean.
Me I am ok on the whole, been working my butt off managed to get run down and catch a nasty cold so I am home today and not answering the phone.
Hon drop a line any time, if you want to go private you can mail me via my ivillage mail option.
Have a good one
Free
Yes you just have to LOVE that hindsight!LOL.
He won't be given any chances to do anything again. Its over. Whats the saying.."remember the good times!"..well he better remember cause the door has slammed shut!:-).
He did the "hard" part so to say but I think I reap the rewards everyday..I can't say I don't still have a lot of feelings for him, but I can still have those feelings and not be in an affair with him. In time, I hope that they fade.
Well this time around was for a pancreas. I had been on the list for a kidney/pancreas transplant but my husband came up to be a match for my kidney (that was a shock!). I finally recieved a match for a pancreas at the beginning of Sept. I had one before but there was a problem and the organ was not getting any blood and it died..:-(.
This one is working great! No insulin! No pump so I am back to dressing as I wish (dresses, tank tops, etc). Hard to do that with something hanging on you all the time..LOL.
H has been doing great. I think more so since I see him for who he is and not what I wish he was..if that makes any sense. He was great to begin with, just not very attentive and you know that "spark" everyone wants really isnt there..Heck we have been married over 18 years..somethings working right??:-).
I see him in a whole new light and I see myself in a whole new light and that makes for a much better life..easier on me not having to lie and sneak and pretend things. The more I relaxed the more I saw..H is a good person..loves me unconditionally..never asks anything of me..and heck gave me part of his body!LOL.
Sorry to hear you have a cold..anything I can do? Darn colds are the worst. I think I caught a bit of a bug a week ago and still have not shaken the cough..people at work say I sound like I smoke a carton a day..:S..LOL.
Have a great day!
MB
You really sound so GOOD.
It is hard to see your spouse for who they are when your looking at them through a third party, I think we need to find away to justify are actions and feelings about the affair so we end up painting our spouse as the bad guy, sure there not perfect but then again who is, sure as hell not the women there married to. :-).
As for the XCMM, the best way to get past the feelings is the vaunted NC, but eacjh to there own.
There is a difference between Affair relationships and mature marriage relationships, that spark can be an indication of a relationship that is stuck at a shallow early stage were most affairs never get past, 50 year marriages may run quiet but they also run much deeper.
But life moves on and as long as were moving with it and not stuck in the mud maybe were doing ok after all.
It must be nice to be off the GEAR so to speak, may you and your new organ have a long happy relationship !!
It is realy nice to hear from people that have made it over the hump and are on the road to real life long happiness, keep up the good work.
Colds suck, this is the first one I have had in years, been working to much and sleeping to little, thats going to change starting today, no job is worth wrecking my health over.
Think good thoughts my way I am sure I will recover.
Take it easy
Free
Sending you lots of positive thoughts and prayers!!
Thank you for all your posts and your support! You have been one person I could always count on to give me a dose of reality when I most needed it!!
Wishing you a speedy and restful recovery!!
HUGS
MB